The best friends are those who can
tickle your brain, make you laugh, have a great sense of humour, are witty,
just have the right dose of sarcasm and are critically honest yet remain kind.
You volley back and forth ideas and
engage in intellectual fencing, agreeing, or opposing without rending or
wounding each other. You are both thoughtful without being morose, and silly
without being foolish. You may opine upon and critique a range of ideas or
persons without engaging in calumny.
Between you, honesty is not
negotiable and loyalty is standard. Trust is the tie that binds. You share that
which matters the most. Caring glues you together. You laugh together, a lot.
You watch out for each other, catch each other when you fall.
You may be in each other's company,
yet remain taciturn. You spend time away from each other without weakening your
bond. You may be near together yet allow yourselves to wander silently in your
own minds, thinking, reading, meditating. You are never bored with one another
because neither of you are boring.
Many people go through
life looking for such friends. If you find even just one, you have more than
enough. It took you a long time to get where you are. Keep each other.
"Your friends will know you better in the first minute you meet than your acquaintances will know you in a thousand years." — Richard Bach
One of my best friends, now departed this world in 2019. This photo of Rod and I taken in 2006 at a hat party. Miss you my friend.
Why do we blog??.......OR more to the point WHY DO I BLOG?
I have given this question considerable thought and concluded it is because I
love being stroked, complimented, flattered, hugged........am I being shallow?
Probably!
Blogging has enhanced my creative side and expanded my knowledge 100 fold. I
actually feel I am a better person since I started blogging.
I blog to be part
of a community of people whom I respect; I want to understand your thinking and
I want you to understand mine.
I blog to be part of the conversation. I blog to
remember. I blog to refine my thinking. I blog because I don't think I really
understand something until I write about it.
Finally I blog because there are
truly remarkable people in the world, who perhaps would not be recognized by the
world. I blog to connect with persons who share some (if not all) of my values.
So I keep coming back to blogging because of YOU my friends, yes YOU, I keep
coming back because of YOU. BLESS YOU.
"A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he
knows that you are slightly cracked". ~~ Bernard Meltzer
The evening closes in on a warm summer's day and also another year.
The wine is coursing through me and through my friends but not down into the tributary of political discourse that can end up in an almighty row, but down the waterfalls of laughing memory.
Long forgotten stories and cackles emerge of times past while grand plans are made for the future still to be lived.
Sharing bread, barbeques, wine and those generous anecdotes - the simple gentleness of caring for the people we love.
Here's hoping 2019 is an awesome year for all of us. May everyone experience calm, peace, excellent health and success.
And may it be filled with good food, good friends and good memories......oh yes and good wine!
"Cheers to a new year and another chance for us to get it right." ~~ Oprah Winfrey
Selfie taken at Christmas lunch 2018 - effects courtesy of Samsung.
The wine is coursing through you and through your friends but not down into the tributary of political discourse that can end up in an almighty row, but down the waterfalls of laughing memory.
Long forgotten stories and cackles emerge of times past while grand plans are made for the future still to be lived.
Sharing bread, barbecues and those generous anecdotes - the simple gentleness of caring for the people you love.
"Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: "What! You too? I thought I was the only one." ~~ C.S. Lewis
Celia and Marja, two very dear friends who live in Christchurch, New Zealand.....now my second home!
Like plants, to some degree, all of us struggle or flourish according to where we are positioned. Our lives can be hard or easy depending on where the pot is placed.
Most of us, I think, have had this experience: behaving quite differently according to the people in the room at the time. With some people we feel in perpetual shadow; with others, the sunlight seems to angle in and we are aglow. With one friend you feel as if you are quite intelligent, discussing erudite issues of politics or literature. You are witty, insightful; the right phrase springs into your mouth at the right time. The very next night, in the company of someone else, you feel dumb and boring. Anxiety or insecurity grips so strongly that the right word, the witty phrase, can never fight its way through to the surface. I've been thinking about the subtleties of positioning - how the sunlight can hit us when we are standing on this spot, but not in this other spot. Why, then, don't we strive harder to move into the sun? Why don't we spend more time with those who bring out our best selves, and less with those who bring a nuclear winter? Perhaps we could all send out the mental note: ''Paul Whatchamacallit, I know I'm booked in for a barbecue with you on Saturday week but suddenly I find that I am busy. I'm off to spend time with people who think I'm fabulous. And guess what? When I'm with them, I mostly prove them right.''
The best compliment you can pay someone is to say, ''I like the person I am when I'm with you''. "Yeah we all shine on, like the moon, and the stars, and the sun." ~~ John Lennon - Instant Karma
My friend Rose grows these beautiful orchids and has them in the perfect position for them to flourish.
These lovely women are a joy to spend time with and I feel so blessed to call each of them my friend.
These life long friends always let me shine and bring out the best in me.
Back in November I wrote a post called 'A Sacred Bond' about friendship, which was brought about by meeting up with a high school friend I hadn't seen since 2002.
Our afternoon was spent recalling times gone by and filling each other in on what had happened in our lives over the last 6 years. Our conversation was punctuated with statements such as 'remember when we did....', 'whatever happened to.....' and of course the one we all liked to hear.....'you know you haven't changed one bit, except for your hair colour.'
We both laughed and smiled as we recalled the good times and the great experiences we had shared over the 30 odd years we had known each other. Each event we discussed triggered another recollection and everything we talked about centred on the good times and only served to energise each of us during the course of the afternoon.
Almost simultaneously, right at the end of our time together, we both said how much we both enjoyed it and that we must do it again. We agreed to catch up again early in the New Year, then said our goodbyes.
Over the past few weeks I have revisited and replayed in my mind all that we had talked about. I realised just how important it is to have regular reminders of the good times in our lives and to be able to take the time to reminisce, for so much of what we have done in our lives, shapes us and makes us who we are today and beyond.
I was fortunate enough to have had the chance to catch up with my girlfriend and reflect on those good times. It was somewhat like looking at an old photo album that you have found stored away in a cupboard in your house, there before your eyes are lots of wonderful memories in print that take you back to that time and place, and most importantly to those people who are in the photos.
It also made me realise when you get caught up doing what has to be done in the moment, how easy it is to forget the people you have met in your life who have made a positive impact on and enriched you, often in only the smallest of ways.
My good mate Rod and I back in January 2006 - A delightful pose for the camera!
The special little boy in my life - Joseph & I, August 2008 - Asking for chocolate!
The crew I was with while barging in France, June 2008 (minus Linton who took the photo) - Why do I always have my mouth open!!
Rwanda November 2006 - The Children watching footage of themselves in my video camera.
“Some people go to priests; others to poetry; I to my friends.” These words of Virginia Woolf are a pointing reminder of the importance of friendship in our lives.
I spent the afternoon with my 'best friend' from my high school days. We hadn't seen each other since 2002, but it seemed like only yesterday. There were no awkward moments, just laughter and filling in the gaps of those years, with the sad events and the happy ones.
When we think of our friends we immediately think of those people who have been constantly present in our lives, those who have been a stellar support to us in happy times and times of crisis. Perhaps it is not always easy to define friendship. It isn’t built on a list of expectations as is the case with other relationships. But then perhaps it is this freedom, this unspoken tenderness, this amalgamation of faith, trust, support and other beautiful aspects that make it such a sacred bond.
Any person who has ever enjoyed a wonderful bond of friendship will understand the importance of being there for the friend. Life is a continuous learning experience and along the way every person encounters happy moments and trying times. What one needs during the happy times as well as the painful ones is constant support and a true friend knows this only too well. Sometimes it is not always possible to be there for your friend in person but modern technology has allowed people to connect in spite of geographical distances.
Perhaps it is only in friendship that people are capable of giving unconditional acceptance and love to another individual and this is the hallmark of true friendship. It means friends allow each other to be human and commit mistakes and learn from the mistakes. It also means that friends love each other in spite of the mistakes. This acceptance and love also means that friends talk to each other if they have any issues between them and that they treat each other with respect, dignity and kindness. They also give each other the benefit of doubt and try to understand the other person’s perspective.
True friendship also means that our friends encourage us to reach and perform according to our potential and do not transgress our boundaries. In a healthy friendship bond you should never be forced by any of your friends to do anything that you are not comfortable doing. There is genuine concern for the emotional, physical and spiritual well being of each other in this beautiful relationship.
Some of my favourite Friendship quotes.
“Friendship is the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person, having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words." - George Elliot
"Friendship with oneself is all-important because without it one cannot be friends with anyone else in the world." - Eleanor Roosevelt
"Grief can take care of itself, but to get the full value of joy you must have somebody to divide it with." - Mark Twain
"With every friend I love who has been taken into the brown bosom of the earth a part of me has been buried there; but their contribution to my being of happiness, strength and understanding remains to sustain me in an altered world." - Helen Keller
"What is a friend? A single soul in two bodies." - Aristotle
"In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends." - Martin Luther King Jr.
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