Tuesday, 24 July 2018

Out of the Shadows

Like plants, to some degree, all of us struggle or flourish according to where we are positioned. Our lives can be hard or easy depending on where the pot is placed. 
Most of us, I think, have had this experience: behaving quite differently according to the people in the room at the time. With some people we feel in perpetual shadow; with others, the sunlight seems to angle in and we are aglow.

With one friend you feel as if you are quite intelligent, discussing erudite issues of politics or literature. You are witty, insightful; the right phrase springs into your mouth at the right time. The very next night, in the company of someone else, you feel dumb and boring. Anxiety or insecurity grips so strongly that the right word, the witty phrase, can never fight its way through to the surface.

I've been thinking about the subtleties of positioning - how the sunlight can hit us when we are standing on this spot, but not in this other spot.

Why, then, don't we strive harder to move into the sun? 

Why don't we spend more time with those who bring out our best selves, and less with those who bring a nuclear winter? Perhaps we could all send out the mental note: ''Paul Whatchamacallit, I know I'm booked in for a barbecue with you on Saturday week but suddenly I find that I am busy. I'm off to spend time with people who think I'm fabulous. And guess what? When I'm with them, I mostly prove them right.''

The best compliment you can pay someone is to say, ''I like the person I am when I'm with you''.
"Yeah we all shine on, like the moon, and the stars, and the sun."
~~ John Lennon - Instant Karma
This photo was taken in 2007 when we were riding camels in Broome, Western Australia.


Debra She Who Seeks said...

Yes, they say we should minimize the time we spend with toxic people who suck the life out of us. Sounds like you're considering the same thing! P.S. Love your camel photo!

Christine said...

I decided not to attend what I knew would be a boring gathering this year, no regrets more a sense of relief. Maybe I should've done that years ago.

Bill Lisleman said...

my social calendar could fit on a post-it note. I probably avoid people too much. Certainly, don't care for people that make me feel uncomfortable. Lately I've found the interesting people are our grandchildren who are still toddlers.

miruspeg said...

@Debra - Yes you are spot on, as I age I am very selective who I spend time with, there is so much negativity in the world now, we need to make our personal lives as happy and content as possible.
Taking the shot of the camel shadows was the idea of my friend who I was riding with on the camel.
Thanks for taking tho time to stop by during your blog break Debra. xxx

@Christine - Good on you mate, as Debra said spending time with boring/toxic people can suck the life out of us. Keep shining. xxx

@Bill - My social calendar also could fit on a post-it note Bill!! Toddlers and kids are so much fun to be around, they keep us grounded and help us remember the little things that matter.
Keep enjoying life mate. xxxx

Mike Smith said...

I like the person you are, Peggy, when I read your always wonderful words. Big hugs frae Auld Reekie!

miruspeg said...

Lovely to read your very kind comment Mike.
Thanks for your wonderful support over many many years.
We have come a long way since those early blogging days back in 2008.
I have certainly enjoyed the journey and may we continue to flourish and like John Lennon wrote "Shine on, like the moon, and the stars and the sun".
Take care dear friend.
Big hugs
Peggy xxxx

Liz Hinds said...

Oh yes! I am invisible to some, with others I'm valued. Good advice to stya in the sun.

miruspeg said...

Hello Liz
Nice of you to drop by and leave a comment.
It's interesting how as we grow older and ultimately wiser, we learn to spend more time with those who value us.

Beautiful Sky said...

Good thinking. But sometimes there is an unexpected encounter with a shadow-making type. Another trick is to listen to the stillness behind the words. They come from the same awareness as us all. yeah - maybe with these types the trick is to listen more than talk. It would be wasted on them :) xx

miruspeg said...

Hey Celia (Beautiful Sky)
Thanks for stopping by and leaving your thoughts on shadow-making types.
Very difficult to listen to these people but I get your point and it is certainly a valid one.
All the best my friend.
Peggy xxxx