I have written about fear several times since I started blogging. This four letter word that we often give so much power to is one of the most debilitating emotions one can experience.
Maybe we could look at FEAR from a different perspective.
The myth of fear is that we're supposed to overcome it or conquer it.
The truth about fear is that if we learn to talk to it and treat it with respect, it will teach us how not to be afraid.
Yes, it can be horrible and crippling and awful.
Trust me on this one. I know fear pretty well. I know the kind that causes full-body trembling and awful heart palpitations. And the kind that makes you think demons are flying at you through the windows. And the kind that has you sobbing and writhing on the floor.
Fear can be debilitating. So I don’t mean to be going off on some annoying spiritual kick about how it’s good for you or something. It’s just that you don’t want to battle it.
And not just because battling it makes the fear stronger (it does), but because — when you talk to it — your fear is the best teacher you will ever have.
Instead of kicking fear, you can dissolve it. It can kick back, but it can’t dissolve *you*. The only way to get the fear to dissolve is to interact with it. Just like you, it wants to be noticed and cared for.
Your fear needs to know that you are taking steps to keep yourself safe. So give it some reassurance.
Think of it this way. Your fear is like a knight. It has a mission or a quest or whatever to keep you safe from failure and humiliation and things going horribly, horribly wrong.
So it keeps you from working on the thing you want to do. It shows up again and again, with worry and doubt and what-iffery.
A misguided strategy, yes. But well-intended. Annoyingly well-intended.
If you want your fear to stop scaring you silly, you’re going to need to reassure it that its mission has not been in vain.
In fact, you can tell your fear that you’re going to release it from its quest and take over the mission of looking out for your own well-being.
Talking to your fear is a great way to achieve distance from it. When you’re talking to your fear, it isn’t you anymore. It’s just a temporary part of you. You contain it, but you contain a lot of things.
This distance, paradoxically, allows you to befriend it.
Befriending it, paradoxically, allows it to become something else.
I know. Argh, stupid paradox. Is it scary to talk to your fear? To even acknowledge its shadowy presence in the room? Absolutely. I’m sorry.
So — that’s the sum of my wisdom today.
Your fear is normal. Your fear is legitimate. Your fear is talking to you. Find out what you need to know.
Much love to you as you take this journey.
"Love is what we were born with. Fear is what we learned here."
I have used this photo before but I feel it represents what I am trying to convey in this post.