Monday, 23 January 2012

Two Different Worlds

Isn't it an amazing world we live in, being able to connect and share our lives via blogging and Flickr etc with people we have never met in real life.

What is perplexing though is none of my real life or offline friends engage with me on my blog, although they all know I blog regularly. Perhaps it's because they knew me before I blogged, I don't know.

They haven't a clue as to what goes on in the blogosphere or the sort of conversations/thoughts that take place here. I am sure some of them think of blogging as being some sort of narcissistic exercise that has little value.

It's almost like they don't know me as well as my online friends. Such a strange thing to say, isn't it.

Our blogs, photos say much about where we are at the moment, where we are going and who we are becoming. Both posts and comments provide a wealth of information.

I feel I live in two different worlds or living a double life. My online and offline lives are, while fundamentally the same, incredibly different.

I think both worlds serve a unique purpose. I don't think they need to necessarily converge, but it does become frustrating to have that sort of gap when you're speaking to somebody (real life). Then again, I suppose it's entirely different type of growth and experience.

I was "talking" to my lovely, talented online friend Maureen the other day and here is part of what she wrote.

"I can honestly say that I get more support and encouragement from my online friends than I ever have from my other friends.
Not that my friends aren't supportive, but they have lives that go in different directions. Here, online, I have friends that have common interests and goals and dreams. Hey. None of my real friends talk about their dreams, or their One Little Word (OLW). And that's a bit sad, but it's the truth."

I am so grateful to have found so many likeminded people in cyberspace who realise the power of sharing and giving of themselves and I have been so fortunate to have met many bloggers in real life and look forward to meeting more in the future.

So keep shining my wonderful online friends and I hope you realise how loved you all are.


"In order to keep a true perspective of one's importance, everyone should have a dog that will worship him and a cat that will ignore him."
~~ Anonymous

I discovered I could still make cards on Scrapblog (they were bought out by Mixbook) so I made another card to place in the books I leave in the park opposite my house.


A Daft Scots Lass said...

Friends are the BEST!!

HappyOrganist said...

Love that quote about the cat and dog. ;D

I sure love meeting people online and also in person (I think that's why I go shopping every day - it's part of "making the rounds" for this stay-at-home Mom). Very healthy.
I don't prefer one group to the other. I DO like being able to hug people in real life, though.. But then there are some perks to meeting people in distant places as well. I guess I feel blessed to be surrounded by a lot of people I can talk to. While I had a lot of anxiety about blogging, it certainly has blessed my life. Funny how that works.
Take care. Enjoy the summer heat. And for heaven sakes - pray that we'll receive some snow here ;)
Your friend,
- H.O.

McMGrad89 said...

It's true. I rarely mention my cyberspace world to my Real World friends although you fit into both. :-) I love when two worlds collide.

Cameron said...

So true, Peg! My SIL and 1 of my real life friends will say they have visited my blog...but they never leave comments....
They'll go there to see whatever new project I've been working on....but they still don't "get it". Until they have Blogs, I doubt they will....

Having a blog is so much more....Blog Friends are something special....and it's hard to imagine my Life without either one now :)

Christine said...

The blog world is amazing and they don't collide with real life for me either!

Mike Smith said...

I know exactly what you mean, Peggy. I also feel I'm living a double life. And double trouble!

Marja said...

Dear Peggy Blogging is such an enrichment to live. Yes different needs are met and indeed it is a petty that the worlds often don't cross. But sometimes they do as you know and the bloggers I met in real life are the same as in their blog
I salute you and blogging and still want to say that that card is so beautiful. I am getting curious now. Do you leave them in books in the park?
What kind of books and how many books do you leave there?

miruspeg said...

Gillian - No truer words were written! I would be lost without my friends. :-)

Jen - I never knew you had anxiety about blogging...I would never have thought so.
I am a big hugger from way back, so let's hope our lives will cross one day.
Sydney is not enjoying a hot summer yet, so I'll pray for snow for you if you will pray for our rain to piss off. :D)

Annemarie - The two worlds have collided for me 10 times, so now I am blessed with 10 new real life friends who understand me 100%.
I certainly treasure our online and offline friendship. :-)

Cameron - I couldn't imagine life without my cyberspace friends either. I used to complain/worry that I spent too much time on the computer but now I realise how much my online friends enrich my life.
The online communities help us through the rough times and rejoice with us during the good times. We also discover hidden talents we didn't know existed. xxx

Christine - I haven't met anyone yet where people they have known really well in real life actually read their blogs regularly.
Actually I kind of like it that way too. :-)

Mike - Yes Mr Smith your double life is to be revealed shortly I hear.
The spy who came in from the cold undertakes a terrifying mission in the hope that it will be his last!
Good luck my friend. xxxxxx

Marja - All the bloggers I have met IRL are EXACTLY like I imagined them when "talking" online. That is one of the reasons I enjoy travelling so much, I now travel to the places where my online friends live to deepen the level of our friendship.
Regarding the card drops, I have been leaving a book in the park opposite my home each day for about 2 1/2 years (when it is not raining). I get all different types of books that we are not able to sell (slightly blemished) from Lifeline (one of the voluntary organisations I work for). I include a card I made on Scrapblog, hoping it will cheer up someone's day. xxxxxx

Can-Can said...

My real life family and friends either don't read or never leave comments when they do. I know that both my son and daughter are extremely busy but I feel a little sad that they don't know the me they'd get to know if they read my blog posts. At least I'm leaving a legacy for them to appreciate.

I also mourn when I've lost blog friends. People who I've followed and grown close to who for whatever reason stop blogging. I feel a tremendous loss when that happens and sometimes there's no contact info for them. They were part of my life for years and now their gone.

I am also a writer and I know that when my books are published, some of my closest friends and family won't read them because they just don't read. Reading is like air to me - a necessity - so this saddens me. Ah, well, there's always shopping and the movies with the flesh & bone friends, isn't there?

As always, food for thought, Peggy.

miruspeg said...

Candelaria - I wonder why our real life friends don't leave comments when they read our blogs....another perplexing curiosity/conundrum!
I am also saddened with Blog friends that stop blogging without saying goodbye. Fortunately this does not happen too often.
I am still trying to track down our friend Lilly, but have been unsuccesssful to date.
Thank YOU for adding more food for thought with your comment. xxxxxx

bill lisleman said...

I have given up begging my RL people to visit the blog. It's a little strange to me because the blog started many years ago with the idea of keeping a group of RL friends together. It worked for a short while.
I do get my sisters to visit occasionally. They will surprise me with a comment. I believe many people don't see any benefit from blogging. They have FB, twitter and forwarded emails. They don't know what they are missing.

miruspeg said...

Bill - I totally agree that people who don't blog have no idea the benefits of blogging.
Like the chance to interact with like-minded people and the chance to interact with totally different-minded people - I have learnt so many new things from these people.
Blogging has also diversified my writing and my writing voice has improved significantly. xxxx

Roban said...

It is a bit strange when the two worlds don't completely forge. I have a blog friend who used to work with me, but we've actually gotten to know each other better through our blogs. In reality, there are aspects of my personality and creative life that only my blog friends are privy to. Strange, a bit sad, but true.

I'm just glad I've made the friends that I have through the blogs and our wonderful scrapblog world. Did you create your card on the actual Scrapblog site, or on Mixbook? I've used Mixbook a few times but it didn't quite measure up. It's been a while since I've tried it though.

If I ever found one of your cards in a park, I'd be delighted!

miruspeg said...

Hey Roban!
There are definitely aspects of my personality AND creative life that ONLY my blog/Flickr friends know about.
Communication through the written word can be chosen with greater delibersation and thought as opposed to the spoken word.
In cyberspace I sift and sort through my thoughts. The ideas and beliefs that are in my head as I write them down to explain to others give me clarity too.
I also love the openness and candor I read on posts and comments on online communication.
Yes I did create that card on Scrapblog. We are still able to log in and create new cards. I haven't published them on Scrapblog, just downloaded them as jpg's.
Thanks for stopping by and commenting as I know you must be very busy with your school life.
Be well my friend.xxxxx

Stoneweaver said...

I find the same thing. A lot of my real-life friends never visit my blog. And I like to keep anonymous anyway - so that if I say something a little controversial, there will be no upset. Bloggers are naturally kindred spirits because we choose to visit sites that interest us or resonate - so naturally we have lots in common. But it's all good - you can never have too many friends 'real-life', cyber, or otherwise...I'll let you decide what the 'otherwise' refers to (!)

miruspeg said...

True abundance of friends is very enriching.
And meeting all different types of people whether they be likeminded or crotchety is all part of life's journey.
Take care my wise friend. xxxxxx

Ninon Jean-Claire said...

I absolutely went through the same thing. I realized that friends I thought were friends...really weren't and that a lot of family really could not be bothered. I also have some BEST online friends (like you) who have shown far more effort and interest in my life than ALL my relatives...ever! Boy..depressing to think about, but what is wonderful is that we CAN make friends all over the world and we find people who honestly put in the effort to communicate and be a part of our life. I think this is the trick. A lot of people these days just DON'T want to put in the effort. I would say online that it is rare too to find true friendships, but sometimes, when we are lucky, the magic happens!

miruspeg said...

Dearest Ninon
As I age I want to surround myself with people who reflect the person I want to be. My cyberspace friends certainly fulfill this.
I have been very fortunate to find many true friendships online and converted them into real life friends. Magic has happened and I am sure will keep happening as cyberspace continues to become a huge part of our lives.
Be well my friend. xxxxx

Jen said...

Peggy, I can completely relate to this post! I started my blog thinking my family and friends would read and write comments. I have found that I do have some that read but they don't leave comments. I'm thinking that they think I'll just talk to her when I see her.
I have made a few connections like with you that have definitely kept me blogging when I would probably would have quit, and then regret it. Your kind words and encouragement have uplifted me many times.
I hope someday we can meet and if you ever find yourself in Maine, you will always have a place to stay! Love, Jen xoxoxo

miruspeg said...

Hello Jen!
Lovely to see a comment from you, because I know you have your hands full at the moment with a new baby and two other youngsters.
I cherish my connection with other bloggers and am always blown away by the many synchronicities that occur, which always makes me smile.
Thank you for the invitation of a place to stay when I find myself in Maine......I certainly won't hesitate to accept your kind offer.
Namaste xxxxx

Robyn said...

this is a very interesting and thought provoking post Peggy and one that I will come back to again.
Unfortuantely at this moment I'm in a rush, but all good, just busy with fun house guests


miruspeg said...

Hey Robin!
Glad to hear you have fun visitors staying with you. I enjoy having visitors too, as I get to see my fabulous city and surroundings that I would otherwise probably not find the time to do.
Oh and please send some of your hot weather over to Sydney.....I am still wearing my ugg boots!

Cinderella said...

You see it accurately dear Peggy. Many of my online friends give me more kindness and support and encouragement than my 'real life' friends do. I love the people I see face-to-face, but it is lovely to have both wrolds.


Stoneweaver said...

How I wish I had a time machine!!

All these blogs - AND work. If I had a time machine I'd be a hollow-eyed wreck!

miruspeg said...

Cinderella - We are incredibly fortunate to have the best of both world. Thanks for stopping by. :-)

Stoneweaver - I like your expression "hollow-eyed wreck".
There probably will be a time machine invented one day but meanwhile I keep in touch with my blogging friends by visiting one or two blogs each day, so I never feel overwhelmed or stressed for now keeping in touch. xxxxx

Chapter Forty said...

When I tell off line people I am a Mummy blogger they look at me like I am an alien. Yet online I am part of a club.

Isn't it sometimes easier to talk to strangers about how you really feel. Its funny how with some of my posts I just cant bring myself to share them on Facebook.

However one offline friend declared on reading my blog "I feel so much closer to you now, like I know you so much better"

Dear Peggy you have been the most wonderful faithful online friend who has been here for me from the beginning. Your wisdom is such a blessing. To know there are people like you out there in the world is a really good thing.

miruspeg said...

Dear CF!
My online friends have helped me become a much more empathetic, compassionate person.....THE POWER OF THE WRITTEN WORD!
I find the online community very rarely remain silent when we are going through difficult times and they seem to know exactly what to say.
CF, you and I have been on a grand journey through blogging and it is such a delight for me to call you my friend and to share your journey. xxxxxxx

bill lisleman said...

I had forgotten I commented on this post once already. Age and forgetting, hopefully you remember the rest of that.

Anyway, I just wanted to share what I wrote about this topic the other day.
"Some people just don't get it about blogging. Blogging = sharing and we make connections that are real. The friendships are not virtual at all."

Another blogger friend liked it so much she re-posted it which was a great thank you.

Mrs4444 said...

Stopping by via Lisleman's recommendation. You've said it beautifully. Besides, if kids can be in two worlds (video and real), then we can, too! :)

miruspeg said...

Hello Bill and Barbara Jean
So glad this post resonated with both of you.
I receive so much inspiration and comfort from my online virtual friends, I now can't imagine my life without them.
I appreciate both of you stopping by and taking the time to comment.
Take care
Peggy xxxxxxxx


I agree with her observation...I too believe that there is more support from online friends than in 'real time'. Sad, but there is also the concept that people online, visiting our blog, and ready to support if needed...they are THERE at the moment for us...but, how long does the support last with most? Just the time it takes to leave the comment and move on? Well, yes and no...for some it holds true, but others will even take time to email...and some even have sent e-cards.

May be two different worlds, real time and blog time...but it all boils down to being one way or another.

miruspeg said...

Hello Hootin Anni
Thanks for stopping by and adding to the conversation.
It certainly does boil down to being social and caring for one another.