Follow Your Dreams

"It's never too late to be what you might have been" - George Eliot

Here is a call to action. It has always been a reminder for me to keep on target and not lose sight of the big picture. I haven't always known where my target is or quite what the big picture encompasses. Often knowing what it isn't is enough. I clearly remember, many years ago, saying to my former husband with strong emotion, 'I don't want to do work in an office anymore being an accountant.'

'What do you want to do?' was his obvious reply.
'Something creative.'
'Like what?'
'I don't know.'
The shrug of his shoulders and bemused look, said it all.

The key to my future was that it needed to be something creative. I needed challenges - exciting challenges which would allow my creativity to bloom. I didn't realise the depth of my need at the time. When everything in my life completely changed five years later I embraced an entirely new career which has expanded and changed and creatively challenged me ever since. This blog is part of the rich tapestry of that challenge.

'It's never too late to be what you might have been' means for me, always being creative, and having variety with tasks. When familiarity and the world of the blasé strike, back I go into, 'How can I do this differently?'

The way I work my life is to have big goals and a big picture. How I will achieve my goals, I'm not quite certain - the secretaries of the sky can help me there. I do know, for me, the more I am in touch with the creative woman within, the happier I am.

Give it a go. Do some of those courses you have been putting off for years. Take up that hobby with enthusiasm. Look at your career and think clearly if it has all the elements in it to give you happiness. Some annoying elements you can live with. Being a square peg in a round hole, you must not tolerate!

What about the fear of giving away security? What about that? I know it is frightening. I have been there too. What I want for you is satisfaction and pleasure each day.

There is nothing more satisfying that knowing you are making a difference in the lives of others and knowing, as well, a feeling of confidence and self esteem.

There will be a way for you to have those feelings. Decide that's what you desire more than anything. Now, what are you prepared to do to make it happen?

Know that the very best for you will always come your way, if only you allow it to.

Follow your dreams.

This post was inspired by an email conversation I had with Lilly - visit her new blog Inspiration - she is very accurate in her description of it - 'Creativity, Design, Beauty, Art, Technique.'


In November 2006 I followed my dream and travelled to Rwanda to teach some orphans photography.

Reflecting On Our Words - June

I interrupt my time away from blogging for our monthly group post.

I have a very deep affection for these four delightful women - Annemarie, Roban, Coach, and Julie even though we have never met in person. Likewise I have the same feelings for many others who live inside my computer. What a wonderful age we live in!

Ben Lee wrote this song playing at the moment and the words are perfect for this post.
"Woke up this morning, I suddenly realised
We’re all in this together
I started smiling
Cause you were smiling
And we’re all in this together......"

Here are our reflections for June.

Annemarie's word is DISCIPLINE



“Discipline is remembering what you want.” David Campbell

“Discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishment.”
Jim Rohn

“Discipline is the refining fire by which talent becomes ability.” Roy L Smith

“Endurance is one of the most difficult disciplines, but it is to the one who endures that the final victory comes.” Buddha

My daughter epitomizes the definitions of discipline described above. She has working since September towards the goal of attending the Showcase National Dance Competition. By setting an achievable and measurable goal, she was able to see that dream come to fruition this past weekend.

Caitlin spent several hours a week attending ballet, tap, jazz and technique classes without complaint. Additionally, her instructors would call weekend rehearsals.

What was the result of all this work?

Two amazing performances and two platinum awards. Which just goes to show that when you have the necessary discipline, you can achieve just about anything.


Roban words are JOY and FAITH



JOY. Amazing how such a small, simple word can make such a huge impact in your life (when you let it!). Acknowledging the joy in my life has been one of my goals this year. By focusing on the word “joy,” I hoped to leave worrisome thoughts behind as I looked for those proverbial silver linings instead.

For me, finding joy is really about slowing down to enjoy the moments that make up my life. It’s about stopping the thoughts that whirl through my mind long enough to truly enJOY what life has to offer.

As I focused on this word, I began to recognize joy all around me. I saw joy in a baby’s smile at the grocery store, in the words of a student, and in my daughter’s unique way of seeing things. I found joy in a rare March snowfall and in the serenade of cicadas and frogs on a warm summer night. I found joy while cooking meals for my family and when treating myself to a few good books.

I have found that joy is not elusive but awaits me every day if I just look in the right place. Joy, I found, is a simple thing to enJOY.


AVT Coach's word is ABUNDANCE



I have been blessed to be attending a Yoga class three days per week. Through this class I have also met some amazing women. One of the women, a new friend has added so much to my life in only a few months. We enjoy a nice cup of chai on Sat. morning after our yoga class.

The first weekend in June we went on an overnight trip to a retreat center about 40 miles from our town. We stayed in an old farmhouse. Here is the abundance of this 24 hour time away. A glass of wine on the front porch, talking, watching the sun go down, watching the three new young alpaca's recently adopted by our retreat center owners, sharing again a viewing of the movie Chocalat while of course eating dark chocolate and sharing another glass of wine and talking. Feeling the morning breeze flow through the windows upon awakening in the morning, and taking turns getting a massage by a massage therapist who came to our farmhouse with table in hand..and talking. Enjoy an organic salad then taking a nap just because we can..and talking. It was a gift we gave ourselves and the shared experience was truly abundant. It is not easy to take the time to break away from old habits and do something new. We did it and we are only blessed beyond measure. Thank you Cris for our girl time away."

Abundance is.. sharing new experiences with a trusted friend.


Julie's word is EXCELLENCE



As we hit the completion of half of the year, I find myself amazed that July is right around the corner. Four blog friends and I started the year by each choosing a word that would be our guiding beacon for 2009 and at the end of each month, we have each posted something about how that word is shaping our year.

My word for the year has been excellence. When I selected this word, I thought it to be the element would wind its way through many of the areas in my life in which I seek to grow and improve, in my relationships, homemaking, schooling, writing, photography and walk with the Lord. To pursue excellence has become a lesson in degrees. How does one know when they have achieved 'excellence'? It's not really a destination or accomplishment, but rather an approach and attitude toward the duties and desires in life. And one thing that has emerged as I have pursued excellence this year is that it can be practiced in the smallest things. In my world right now, with so much of my time joyfully captured by the needs of small children, big goals could be frustrating. But to know that I can exercise excellence in making a bed, wiping a nose and reading a book to a child allows me to honor my New Year's goals without creating frustration and overwhelm, which is a very excellent thing indeed.


My word is Balance



6 months, 26 weeks, 181 days, 4,344 hours......four Americans and one Australian united together believing by focusing and reflecting on our tools called words our journey would become clearer.

For me, without a doubt the journey so far has been very rewarding. Who would have thought that by focusing on a few simple words (Balance, Desire, Persistence) they would grant me so much power and freedom.

This month I would like to reflect on finding balance in the midst of life’s ups and downs.

In life there will always be ups and downs. When something negative happens, instead of agonizing over it or trying to oppose it, we should accept it and try to turn it into a positive. Similarly, when positive things happen in our life we need to be prepared for the fact that good things can’t last forever.

Instead of wishing for a life of complete happiness where nothing bad ever happens, these ups and downs should be embraced, because they are what gives life its colour and meaning.

In Taoism it is believed that the entire universe is a balance of opposites, symbolized by yin and yang (day and night, winter and summer, male and female, life and death, etc).

“The Tao is the One. From the One come yin and yang; From these two, creative energy (chi); From energy, ten thousand things; The forms of all creation. All life embodies yin AND embraces yang; Through their union Achieving harmony”.
Tao Te Ching (Dreher translation)

Join us in reflecting on your word. Words are the stuff of thought, invisible and intimate.


Please accept this flower from Joseph - Dee Why, May 2009.

I've Got To Go Now

I will be taking a short break from blogging (about 3 weeks)......just finished watching "Dead Poets Society" (again) and feel the need to "Carpe Diem" (Seize the Day)!!

YOU my blogging friends are so addictive! You bring such joy, laughter and wisdom into my life....I am going to miss you so very much....I know this because I dream about you and your blogs regularly.

My priorities are totally out of wack. I have been remiss in catching up with friends and also have the DESIRE to concentrate on my photography, reading, walking, rearranging the spare room and updating our family ancestry of which I am now in charge.

Meanwhile I will leave you with some songs/videos of an exceptional singer/songwriter - TONI CHILDS.




I've Got to Go Now



One Life
TONI CHILDS One Life - Sunrise Channel 7


Stop Your Fussin


Take care everyone.
Namaste
Peggy


"Life can only be understood backwards but must be lived forwards."
--- Soren Kierkegaard

Mixed Messages

Our emotional wellbeing depends to a great extent on how fairly and kindly other people treat us. (How we treat others affects their wellbeing just as directly.) But where does that leave us when we are unsure about what to expect of others or whether our demands are halfway reasonable?

A friend of mind related this story to me the other day. She feels overstretched and unappreciated......

Arriving home from work after a lengthy detour to the supermarket, she asks her eldest child for help bringing in the shopping from the car. He's 14 and is busy sending a text. He asks her to hang on a minute. AND SHE LOSES IT - explodes with frustration, disappointment and anger - not because of that delay, but because for her it typifies so many moments when she wants help and doesn't get it, or when her needs are obliterated by the people she loves most.

But what happens next? Son looks up from his text and is outraged that the harridan in front of him is shouting - about what? About him not "jumping to"? Is that what she's on about? Now it's his turn to be self-righteous. Does she see him as a lackey to jump to her every command and salute while doing so? He, too, feels devalued - and hopping mad.

It would be entirely possible to write a comedy series about domestic moments just like this - yet the living of them is rarely funny. Messages get mixed and family communication collapses. The truly important is not expressed and the unimportant becomes Wagnerian.

Misunderstandings may be inevitable, especially in families. Nevertheless, when they happen often or are badly handled, their effects will be serious and may be catastrophic. In this situation, for example, what happens when Dad or one of the other children comes home and each hurt person wants their sense of injury to be validated? "Taking sides" may make one person feel better, but it solves nothing.

In fortunate families, a sense of proportion will soon reassert itself. One person will apologise and explain their difficult day; the other person will acknowledge their overreaction. A quick hug, and life continues. But even then, it is worth taking time to consider consciously and honestly what we are expecting of other people and how reasonable or realistic these expectations really are.

After all, despite our desires for the contrary, no one can read our thoughts - including our unexpressed wishes and desires. So often our hurt or outrage is about what people have failed to do when they had no idea that was what we wanted.

My friend did ask for help, but her son could not have known - particularly in the midst of his own urgent texting - why her request was urgent and, more generally, how starved she was feeling of consideration and support.

Equally, when the son said to wait a minute, that was literally when he meant, but she heard, "Your needs can wait", and in the noise of her explosion he was hearing, "Only my agenda matters".

It is not easy to assess how realistic our expectations or responses are, but two things help me.

First, I take a mental step backwards to look at the situation coolly from the other person's point of view. If I find that difficult, it is even more worthwhile persisting - and checking out my findings.

Second, I look just as closely at what I have not expressed clearly - and what could not therefore have influenced the other person's response. I may be reluctant to be explicit, yet it is always preferable to acting out my disappointments - and living with the consequences!


This is the response I get from my cat Wilson when I go on the rampage and act like a total lunatic - he just sticks out his tongue and give me 'the look'!
April 2009

Mindless Eating

Have you ever lost a piece of toast?

It's a mystery that has often befallen me. I'm chomping happily on my Vegemite delight and reach out for the next piece only to find an empty space where luscious crunchiness should be. I take my eyes off the computer screen/TV/road ahead for a moment to look and there's nothing there. Gutted. Robbed. Outraged....I WANT MY TOOOAST MUMMY!

Then comes the moment of horrible realisation: the toast isn't there because I've already eaten it. Stuffed it in, chomped it up and swallowed, without really registering the process.

This, my friends, is what they call "mindless eating", and if I want to lose weight - and keep it off - it is something I absolutely have to train myself NOT to do.

It's the guiding inspiration behind that classic piece of dieting advice: never eat standing up. Add to that: never eat while reading the paper, watching TV, driving, downloading music you haven't heard since 1989 or writing a blog.

Or, to put it simply, when you eat - eat. Don't treat it as a subsidiary activity that can be bolted onto any other. Respect it and give it your full attention. Otherwise you will eat a lot of food without really noticing you are doing it - and you will get fat without even having enjoyed the benefit of the yummy food, which is robbing yourself twice.

And if you like food - it seems such a waste not to savour it.

I'm always struck by this thought when I watch Joseph's labrador, Morris, have his dinner. Like all of his breed, Morris lives for food. All right, food and sticks, but mainly food. Every crumb of edible matter that is touched by human hand in that house is followed by Morris's agonised gaze.

Don't forget me! I like food! Look, I'm wagging my tail! Please? Just one little bit? I'll be good forever!

It breaks your heart.

Then comes the big moment: dinner time.

Down goes the bowl, down goes Morris's head and, within milliseconds, it's gone. He doesn't so much as inhale. Then he's back on patrol in the kitchen in case someone drops an apple pip.

"Morris, my boy," I want to say to him, "take time to enjoy your food - look at it, smell it, savour each mouthful, make it last." But it's no good: he's got to eat it as quickly as possible in case another dog steals it.

Which is exactly why I used to eat like a labrador. If I didn't clear my plate quickly as a child, my big brother would help me out. So I learned to stuff my dinner in fast, like Morris, and the habit stuck into adulthood.

Until now. I have actively retrained myself and here's the secret: put your knife and fork down after every mouthful. Take time to taste what you're eating, chew slowly, and don't pick your cultery up again until you're swallowed.

Now I have learned it is a much more enjoyable experience to sit back in my chair while I eat, look around the room, take in the scene. Breathe out occasionally.

Eating this way, I also become aware of getting full as I go and hope to never again find myself transformed into a human Zeppelin.
(That's the feeling, five minutes after leaving the table, that you have been forcibly inflated to bursting point.)


We were on safari in Kenya in December 2006 and came across these lions devouring an animal. We were quite close....it was an amazing experience.

Determined to See Things Differently

The world we see that seems so insane may be the result of a belief system that isn't working. The belief system holds that the fearful past will extend into a fearful future, making the past and the future one.

It is our memory of fear and pain that makes us feel so vulnerable. It is this feeling of vulnerability that makes us want to control and predict the future at all costs.

I would like to present a personal example. I was reared in a family where a fearful attitude always seemed to prevail. I bought into a philosophy that said, "The past is awful, the moment is horrendous, and the next moment is going to be worse". And, of course, we were all correct in our predictions since we shared the same assumptions.

Our old belief system assumes that anger occurs because we have been attacked. It also assumes that counterattack is justified in return, and that we are responsible for "protecting" ourselves, but are not responsible for the need to do so.

If we are willing, it is possible to change our belief system. However, to do so we must take a new look at every one of our cherished assumptions and values from the past. This means letting go of any investment in holding on to fear, anger, guilt or pain.

It means letting the past slip away and with it all the fears from the past that we keep extending into the present and future.

"I am determined to see things differently" means that we are truly willing to get rid of the past and future in order to experience now as it really is.

Most of my life I have acted as if I were a robot, responding to what other people said or did. NOW I recognise that my responses are determined only by the decisions I make. I claim my freedom by exercising the power of my decision to see people and events with LOVE instead of fear.


“Fear less, Hope more; Eat less, Chew more; Whine less, Breathe more; Talk less, Say more; Love more, and all good things will be yours” - Swedish Proverb


This photo taken at the Australian Reptile Park, Somersby, Sydney in March 2007 was my "A" photo....see my previous post for details.

Bonds Boy

Inspiration seems to be the buzz word for June.

AVT Coach is talking about it....here are some questions she is posing:

"Can we decide to "inspire another" or do we "inspire another" by living a quality life of positive abundance and that in itself is enough? Does inspiration come spontaneously in a different form for each individual or are there qualities that are globally inspiring? What or who inspires you"?

Then there is Annemarie's brother Andre who created a photo blog called A to Z Photos , hoping to inspire photographers and get us clicking away again.

Andre wrote "As a professional writer and photographer sometimes I find that when I'm away from work I've exhausted my creativity. I've found it hard to keep myself inspired and motivated to shoot photos for myself".

Andre wants to encourage all photographers--pros and hobbyists--particularly all those who have had a little trouble staying motivated to shoot more personal photos, to take part in A to Z Photo Blog.

These photos below of my beautiful "Monday" little man Joseph are my "B Photos". As it was way too cold and wet to venture outside I decided to scan my photo files and found it was such an enjoyable experience searching for photos relating to the letter B.

I hope Andre's blog attracts lots of participants because we could all do with a little inspiration and that's what the blogging community is REALLY good at.

We Support, We Teach, We Inspire AND we have heaps of fun along the way.


Bonds Boy Joseph, Dee Why, Sydney, May 2009


Bonds Boy Joseph, The Mall, Sydney, May, 2009


Bonds Boy Joseph, Cromer, Sydney, May 2009


Bonds Boy Joseph, Narraweena, Sydney, June 2008

Different School of Thought

You have heard the saying "Ignorance is Bliss", well maybe there is merit in this school of thought.

Here are some prime examples:

I would be much happier not knowing that the saying, "Don't let the bed bugs bite" originates from the fact that there are thousands of dust mites living in my bed, eating my dead skin cells. If I were ignorant to this fact, I would be happier, and as such in a state of bliss.

Once a conjuring trick is explained it loses its magic.

The excitement of a game of football is in not knowing who is going to be the winner.

I think that there are some things out there, we know nothing about. That lack of knowledge allows us to sleep soundly at night.

Ignorant people don't have to worry and try to fix things themselves, instead they think that someone else is fixing the problem, or there is no problem.

Also if we do choose to solve the problem, it is the exciting part, NOT knowing the answer!

The government preaches ignorance, advertises it everywhere, and bombards us with propaganda, so that when we are happy in our ignorance, they can go about controlling the world without us worrying about what they are doing.

Maybe Ignorance, after all, is Bliss!


Postscript
Healingstones, a very wise and thought provoking blogger wrote this comment below which presents both sides of the argument VERY sustinctly.

"I agree that ignorance is bliss but there is something that goes alongside it: knowledge is power. Even though I hate politics intensely there is an argument for keeping clued up on what is going on in the world. Ignorance wasn't bliss with the recent sub-prime fiasco. (But then how on earth were we supposed to know when even some of the big financial institutions didn't twig!?)
On another level, ignorance can sometimes mean life - I have heard of people who have lived with cancer only to be 'diagnosed' and go swiftly down hill".



Chris (Joseph's father) and myself at Luna Park, Sydney, May 2009 having a ride on the Wild Mouse. It was much more blissful closing my eyes in certain sections of the ride.

Reflecting On Our Words - May

Annemarie, AVT Coach, Julie, Roban and I began our "reflecting on our words for the year" road trip in January and continued in February and March and April.

We got our inspiration about focusing on a WORD for the year from Caroline at The Zen in You. Wonder on over to her place and she will enlighten you further about this wonderful WORD project.

AVT Coach suggested for our joint post this month we:

"Make a collage. You take a canvas and you put photos, words, symbols, whatever you want on it. I've been wanting to make one for my office. It could be small. Anyway, then we would take a picture of it and post it one month".

Brilliant idea we all thought!

Annemarie's word is DISCIPLINE



Roban words are JOY and FAITH



AVT Coach's word is ABUNDANCE


"May is a month full of life. Graduations, Weddings, Concerts, Recitals, and Championships. Bike races, Running races, and Horse races. It is a month in Oklahoma for rain storms and twisters. You have to keep your sneakers on to catch up with the action.
May is also "Better Speech and Hearing Month". I'd like to think of it as "Better Encouraging and Listening Month". My blog posts have been absent but my life has been full. I am truly creating abundance one step at a time. Blessing to you as we move into June. What will the next month bring?" AVTCOACH

Julie's word is EXCELLENCE



My word is BALANCE and I have added two new words for the year (DESIRE and PERSISTENCE)...focusing on Balance alone was not enough to get me motivated!!!



Jesse over at Living Infinitely was the inspiration for my adding the words Desire and Persistence to focus on for the rest of the year.

This is what I wrote as a comment on his post:

Jesse you have written this post very clearly and concisely. I get it! And I need to remember it.
When my goal becomes too difficult it is easy to stop caring, stop trusting and stop wanting it.
I must learn to cultivate an attitude (build a stronger fire) to stay in touch with my desires and remember persistence will pay off and achieve the outcome.

Only Through My Own Eyes

Our adventures and personal experience colour every facet of our lives. How I view events, people, situations and places must be different to the way you view them.

I am still surprised at the differences between the account of my brother, my sister and me when we recall childhood events and their impact. Occurrences that are huge in their memories are minor in mine, even though I was present - and of course the opposite is also true.

Who am I? Who are you in relation to others in your family? As the middle child of three children, my life was obviously different to those of my brother and sister. Our personalities are different, our experiences are different.

My view of life is absolutely shaped by a million conversations my brother and sister were not present to hear, as well as fortunate meetings, happy events and disappointments I experienced when they were not around.

I can see life accurately only through my own eyes, not my mother's, my father's, my brother's or my sister's. I can practise seeing part of myself in everyone I meet. I can appreciate, but never fully understand, the complexities that have shaped others. The only person I can work on is myself.

Who am I in terms of being a neighbour, a work colleague, a lover, a friend? I wear different disguises. I wear different masks for all these people. I even wear masks for myself when my ego sidles up to greet me.

Every event and conversation I have is coloured by who I am and my values. I attempt to have a clear perspective. I attempt not to judge. I attempt to weigh the pros and cons and let the facts speak their truth.

The only way I have found a reasonable path through this dilemma is to listen, question, and listen some more.

I work at not hurrying to provide answers. I am a sounding board for others, I have decided, and more and more I realise the person talking has his or her own answers. They just haven't identified them yet!


“We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are.”
Anais Nin (French born American Author of novels and short stories, 1903-1977)


My sister Heather, me and my brother Peter in 1970.


My family - March 2005

Mind Games

One minor source of relief on our traffic-congested streets is the mind games that may ensue when our eyes fix on some interesting text.

It's usually right in front, for which we become a captive viewer. It happened to me again on Friday. Cleveland Street, in peak hour. I'm drumming fingers on the wheel impatiently, as, too, is the driver in the lane beside me. In front there's a monstrous truck, wide enough to stop me seeing beyond it, making me feel wedged in and stuck. In big letters the sign on the back says: "The only thing we leave is a memory".

It's a case of understanding the words but failing to understand the intended meaning. Because I have no idea who "we" refers to and because "leave" can mean any of a thousand things (eg the plane leaves at three; he leaves a widow and two children; four from eight leaves four; he left the others for dead; he leaves me cold; she's on leave without pay; I'll leave you to it), I'm at a loss to create meaning from these words.

It's a good example of how constructing meaning from a message is far from automatic or safely assumed.

And "memory" is such an evocative word, such an abstract noun. You can't go down to the corner shop and buy a "memory", hold it in your hand, look at it, do something with it. It takes you into the realm of the conceptual.

The lights way ahead turn green but rather like the stage directions in Beckett's Waiting for Godot, no one moves.

Congestion - whether it's on the roads, in the sinuses or the arteries - makes movement difficult.

"The only thing we leave is a memory." Is this a promise? Or a threat? Should I be relieved? Or worried? I resolve that the only recourse is to overtake the truck, at the earliest opportunity and without risking life or limb, so as to see what else may be written on it. More words may throw more light, allowing me some closure on the memory statement.

Eventually the opportunity emerges and I take my chance. As I pass alongside the truck, I see more letters and within a moment I can make them out.

DEMOLITIONS

The penny drops!


If these chairs could talk what memories would they share - Kirribilli, April 2009

Newsflash - Another Bolt of Lightning!

Talk about a lightning bolt, but after 30 years of yo-yo dieting and a weight that's more volatile than bank shares on the Dow Jones, I have had a blinding flash of inspiration. I will now attempt to share it with you.

The thing that I have never been able to understand is this. For weeks I can be as disciplined as Madonna. In that mindset, I can sit for an hour looking at my favourite cake and not eat a crumb of it, telling myself, quite reasonably, that I already know what it tastes like.

I can happily enjoy a fruit salad for dessert while my girlfriends share the sticky toffee pudding, or (best of all) I can have one loving spoonful and leave it there.

Eating like that I lose the weight, so I feel great and everything in life - from getting dressed for a cocktail party to walking downstairs with the laundry - seems easier and more enjoyable. Then something goes snap in my head and that willpower deserts me. Or, maybe I should say desserts me.

It starts with a gentle slide into depravity, allowing myself to be a little more lax: because I'm a thin person now, I'll have the pudding and the extra three glasses of wine. Very quickly it's open season and, after a dangerously deluding delay (fat lag), this leads to weight gain.

The day I go out a notch on my belt is the beginning of the end: I'm a fat bastard again, I might as well just stuff myself. The next thing you know, it's another belt notch or, if it's really bad, a new belt, and the hardest thing is to switch from that mode back into Madonna head. This is the bit I've had a revelation about.

What I have just understood is that when I'm in Pig Face mode, I don't really like myself very much. My self-esteem tanks and - here's the thing - somewhere deep down inside I don't think I deserve the joy of being slim me.

So it's not as simple as having no willpower - I've got it in spades - but when I'm in the Hate Myself swamp, I don't allow myself to use it. I'm a bad fat person and I don't deserve to be happy.

So overeating is not so much a comforting indulgence as a subtle form of self-harm.

Does that make any sense? It's a powerful self-destruct mechanism and I've only just understood it in myself. Then, in the synchronistic way of these things, I turned on the TV last night and there was a program about teen obesity that came to exactly the same conclusion: before you can start to lose weight, you need to build up your self-esteem until you believe you deserve to be the slim you.

It's pretty twisted, but I really think this is the nub of it. So, armed with this new understanding, what are the practical steps you can take?

Well, crash diets are hopeless, but a healthy eating program that has a strict two-week starter plan really works. I did one where you ate exactly what it said on the leaflet for the first fortnight, then after that you could design your own menus on a looser framework. I lost 1.5 kilos initially, which gave me the self-esteem boost to carry on freestyle.

So that's my flash of insight. And now I'm off for my daily walk without dragging my feet.

Photo taken in November 2008 at Sculpture by the Sea, Bondi, Sydney.

Doormat to Persian Rug

"I decided to move from being a doormat to being a Persian rug" - Babette Bensoussan

The state of being a doormat is not one we wish upon ourselves. Far from it. It's the last thing anyone wants. It's a cunning subtle process that creeps up on you, until one day you realise you have achieved doormat status with one person in particular. You have given away your power!

I've lived this one. It took time and distance to realise that there are better ways of living my life than succumbing to victim mentality and submissiveness. I found it was important to rescue the situation so I could be in control of my life. That's when I decided I wouldn't be a doormat again.

When we are single or have left a work situation in which we were submissive, it seems so easy. "That's never going to happen to me again". I found it never just "happens" to us anyway. We allow it to happen. No one in the world wants to be the type of person who lets others wipe their feet all over us so that we become worn and tatty. How much sweeter to be admired and acknowledged because of our ability to respectfully and courteously speak our truth.

I have discovered that when new relationships begins that I need to be careful I don't set up the same circumstances once more. It's time to examine my motives, actions and expectations. It's time to speak honestly about my values and desires and consistently live them.

Reading Babette Bensoussan's quote, I realised that moving to the status of Persian rug in a relationship was the only way to be happy. So like a bolt of lightening, the obvious struck me. I needed to buy a Persian rug to have a constant presence of commitment to myself!

One Saturday morning I went along to a neighbourhood store and purchased one with a traditional pattern that sang loudly to my soul. Now, as I work in my home office, the wonderful rug is beneath my feet.

The very first night I had the rug in place, I poured myself a glass of wine, lit two candles and sat cross-legged on it. Its effect as a flying carpet couldn't be overlooked. It is now a constant reminder of my Persian rug status and a powerful prod to remind me to never be a doormat again.

It also represents heartfelt desires and colourful adventures in faraway lands.

So come fly with me on your magic carpet, up up and away......

Failed to Conform

It's commonplace to do all right or be somewhere in the middle.

Being bottom or near the bottom has merit.

It means we are not interested in the run-of-the-mill way in which we are being taught....Our mind is elsewhere.

FANTASISING

Many people who bottomed out at school have gone on to be rich and successful, not due to their pass marks, but because of their IMAGINATION.

So in order to succeed in our FAILURE, we have to think of our failed situation as a good place to start from.

Good marks will not secure you an interesting life.

Our imagination will!


My cat, Wilson has never read the "cat manual". He brought home these toys from the pre-school up the road. One toy each night. He was rather disappointed when I returned them!

Reflecting On Our Words - April

It's a beautiful morning.........and here we are AGAIN at the end of another month. Hope the month of April brought you much abundance, excellence, discipline, faith, joy, balance AND success, adventure, courage, love, laughter, healing........

It is time again to reflect on our word for the year with my beautiful blogging buddies Annemarie, AVT Coach, Julie and Roban. It all began in January and continued in February and March.

This time we are each writing a short story about our successes our WORD is affording us. The quote below sums up exactly what I feel the word success means:

"Would you like me to give you a formula for success? It’s quite simple, really. Double your rate of failure. You are thinking of failure as the enemy of success. But it isn’t at all. You can be discouraged by failure or you can learn from it, So go ahead and make mistakes. Make all you can. Because remember that’s where you will find success."
Thomas J. Watson

Here are our thoughts about our WORDS.

Roban words are JOY and FAITH

Joy seems like such a simple three-letter word, but it is really so much more than that to me. It's not about being happy. It's not about everything being right in my world. It's just an internal sense of well-being that, despite what happens throughout the day, remains a part of me. I just have to be aware of it and look above, below, and through the din of daily life to see it sometimes.

When I chose my two words for the year, "faith" and "joy," I barely thought of the connection between the two, but as the year progresses, I am more aware of how faith and joy go hand-in-hand. To have faith means I can worry less. To worry less opens a window between my soul and the joy that surrounds me. I won’t say that I am now leading a worry-free life. No. I still worry. But I do know that needless worrying is using up more of my energy and crowding out the joy of life. So choosing to walk in faith and embrace the joy that is given to me is something I am learning to do… one step at a time.

Annemarie's word is DISCIPLINE

Discipline can sound like such a harsh word. It often conjures up thoughts of detention, grounding, the principal's office when actually it should be just the opposite. A person who lives a life of discipline is living a directed and goal oriented life - setting their sites on the prize and making sure everything that she does will lead toward that end.

When I chose Discipline as my word for the year, it was because I saw my life spinning out of control. I was completely living in the moment which is not always a bad thing. However, I was letting circumstances dictate my actions instead of the other way around. It was a life full of excuses and shortcuts. For example fast food instead of cooking because I had too many things to do.

A Disciplined life does not come over night. It is long journey, but it is one I am glad to make with my supportive bloggy friends.

Julie's word in EXCELLENCE

When I chose 'Excellence' as my word for 2009, I had a broad sense of how that directive could be applied in the upcoming year. I knew I wanted to bring a bit more care and finesse to some smaller areas of my life, such as housekeeping and chores. I knew I wanted to instill in the kids a deeper level of respect for working on their lessons with better attention paid to their penmanship, smaller assignments and the like.

I hoped to apply seeds of excellence to those more hidden areas of our lives. And I believe those seeds sown will bring a fuller harvest.

So often in pursuing excellence I have found myself focused on the big items, committing time and effort and high standard to those things that are most obvious, most seen, most noticed. But I've come to see that excellence requires a pervasive attitude that must wash though all aspects all of life, that the excellence I want to find in the grander projects must first be practiced on the smaller stage—a smaller stage in which I act for the benefit of the One who created me.

Because, really, that's what true excellence is, the commitment to doing one's best, even when no one is watching. When excellence is practiced at the smallest level, it becomes a true aspect of character. Anyone can act, on occasion, with great skill and adeptness, but true excellence should be found consistently, a thread of character binding all the pieces and patchwork of one's life.

And so our pursuit of excellence in 2009 continues.

AVT Coach's word is ABUNDANCE

The way I see it, I’ve lived a life of fortune: A college degree, a close immediate and extended family, and a quality group of close friends. These are the aspects of life that I had considered when I thought of abundance.

Still, I had the thought that I would “seek” abundance. I would “strive” for it. Since choosing the word I have intentionally lived my days with a certain assurance that my abundance was evolving. I put feet to it. I began new routines: yoga, more reading, more contact with friends and scheduling play dates with family and friends.

I can say now that I HAVE a life of abundance. I now have a habit of abundant living that carries me through even some stressed days. It is not that my life is perfect, I don’t live in perfection but I do celebrate each moment that I smile when I could frown, say a good word when I could speak ill, listen to music, read and meditate when I could fill my hours with slothful acts.

I love that no matter my financial or relational state my life of fortune continues. I will grow and evolve in many other ways on the journey but I do so abundantly.

My word is BALANCE

Leading a balanced life I have discovered IS in my control!

Very bold statement.....but when all is said and done it is not as difficult as we make it out to be. Let me explain how it works for me.

I begin each task with a purpose and give my attention fully to that task. Some tasks are easier than others to focus on, so I have learnt to slow down, whether it be driving, talking, entertaining, working, exercising......
I recognise when I am off balance and this is when I stop and reflect and often ask for help.

For example my love of blogging sometimes interrupts my other interests/chores/work and when I feel it is taking over I discuss the problem with a friend who helps clarify what I want to achieve and gives me other options to ponder upon.

The easiest way to lose our balance is to cling to fixed beliefs or notions of how things should be. The only constant in this world is change, so the more things we cling to, the more we will be thrown off balance when they disappear. It is like trying to ride a bike while balancing an enormous weight on your shoulders. It is much easier to maintain our balance if we lighten our load.

I would not achieve BALANCE in my life without DISCIPLINE....thankyou Annemarie for choosing that word and explaining how important your word is in all aspects of life.
Keeping the FAITH that balance is achievable and not to give up when the going get tough...and JOY that it brings when successful....bless you Roban for those words.
Of course an ABUNDANT life is then possible.....so grateful to you Coach for leading the way.
And then EXCELLENCE in all aspects of a balanced life becomes possible.....Julie more than anyone I know shines through with this word.


Please join us in reflecting on your word by commenting or posting on your blog and linking to this post. The blogosphere is a wonderful community, a place to share, dream and smile!

"Making your mark on the world is hard. If it were easy, everybody would do it. But it's not. It takes patience, it takes commitment, and it comes with plenty of failure along the way. The real test is not whether you avoid this failure, because you won't. it's whether you let it harden or shame you into inaction, or whether you learn from it; whether you choose to persevere". Barack Obama


This is a photo of my gorgeous Aunty Mary who reached the wonderful milestone of 97 years young on 30 April 2009.....to me she apitimises how to live a successful life.

Decisions, Decisions, Decisions

When I look back there will be things I will regret.

I made the wrong decision.

WRONG

I made the right decision.

Life is about decisions.

1. Am I going to have the practical car or the fast car?

2. Shall I go to college or get a job?

3. Will I have wine, beer or water?

Whatever decision I make is the only one I could make.

Otherwise I would make a different one.

Everything I do I choose.

So what is there to regret?

I am the person I chose to be!


I choose to live on my own so if I need a photo I have to take it myself! 16 April 2009

Messages and Truths

After a while I lose track of where messages and truths come from. This quote "What you give out you get back" is a popular one I hear at many workshops and from many people.

You may know this universal truth as "Like attracts like" or "What goes round come around" or "All that I give, I give to myself". This statement, in its various forms is the one I have stubbed my toe on from time to time. It is the one I remind myself to absorb, so I can stay on course for inner peace.

If I want love in my life, love is what I must give, and not just to the object of my affection - to all people.

If I want others to be honest and trustworthy with me, I need to be scrupulously honest and trustworthy with everyone.

If I want support for my ideas, I need to support others in their dreams...encourage them to be the best they can be.

If I want people to be generous with their money, time and affection, I need to give generously in these areas myself.

I am learning to do none of these actions with the thought of return or reward. This would be an attempt at blackmailing my soul.

I think the Universe is not as picky as I am. It receives the messages that I am kind, caring, loving, happy, considerate and generous human being and decides I only want people like that in my life too.

I have noticed, over a period of time, as I practise this enthralling mastery of myself, that the people I once thought important could now seem shallow and petty. Others, who dwelt on the border of my life and seemed not to share my attitudes, slowly gained in credibility and interest to me.

One day I looked at my former colleagues and friends and realised either they had changed, or that I had. I found there were plenty of others walking my new path. I was not alone.

I have learnt to look critically at the things that annoy me in relationships, at work and at home. These are the issues I haven't learnt to deal with yet!

Celebrating a birthday at my house with my closest friends - November 2008

Crabby Old Woman - Young Soul Within

Food for thought......this is for all who have ever had anyone in a nursing home or older parents.....think as you read.

"When an old lady died in the geriatric ward of a small hospital near Dundee, Scotland, it was believed that she had nothing left of any value. Later, when the nurses were going through her meager possessions, they found this poem.

And now, this little old Scottish lady, with nothing left to give to the world, is the author of this "anonymous" poem winging across the Internet":

Crabby Old Woman

What do you see, nurses?
What do you see?
What are you thinking,
When you're looking at me?

A crabby old woman,
Not very wise,
Uncertain of habit,
With faraway eyes.

Who dribbles her food,
And makes no reply,
When you say in a loud voice,
"I do wish you'd try!"

Who seems not to notice,
The things that you do,
And forever is losing,
A stocking or shoe.

Who, resisting or not
Let's you do as you will,
With bathing and feeding,
The long day to fill?

Is that what you're thinking?
Is that what you see?
Then open your eyes, nurse,
You're not looking at me.

I'll tell you who I am,
As I sit here so still,
As I do at your bidding,
As I eat at your will.

I'm a small child of ten,
With a father and mother,
Brothers and sisters,
Who love one another.

A young girl of sixteen,
With wings on her feet,
Dreaming that soon now,
A lover she'll meet.

A bride soon at twenty,
My heart gives a leap,
Remembering the vows,
That I promised to keep.

At twenty-five now,
I have young of my own,
Who need me to guide,
And a secure happy home.

A woman of thirty,
My young now grown fast,
Bound to each other,
With ties that should last.

At forty, my young sons,
Have grown and are gone,
But my man's beside me,
To see I don't mourn.

At fifty once more,
Babies play round my knee,
Again we know children,
My loved one and me.

Dark days are upon me,
My husband is dead,
I look at the future,
I shudder with dread.

For my young are all rearing,
Young of their own,
And I think of the years,
And the love that I've known.

I'm now an old woman,
And nature is cruel,
'Tis jest to make old age,
Look like a fool.

The body, it crumbles,
Grace and vigor depart,
There is now a stone,
Where I once had a heart.

But inside this old carcass,
A young girl still dwells,
And now and again,
My battered heart swells.

I remember the joys,
I remember the pain,
And I'm loving and living,
Life over again.

I think of the years,
All too few, gone too fast,
And accept the stark fact,
That nothing can last.

So open your eyes, people,
Open and see,
Not a crabby old woman;
Look closer - see ME!!

"Remember this poem when you next meet an older person whom you might brush aside without looking at the young soul within. Remember, too: We will one day be there too"!

My 97 year old Aunty Mary and my 87 year old Mum (with hat) - March 2009 - Harbord Beach, Sydney. What a wonderful outing we had reminising about the 'old days'.

Funny Bunnies

"I got a chocolate rabbit
For an Easter treat,
A great big chocolate rabbit,
Big enough to eat.

So I ate his ears on Sunday,
His nose I finished Monday.
Tuesday, I nibbled on his feet.
I ate his tail on Wednesday.
Thursday I kept on,
By Friday he was going.
Saturday he was gone.

Oh, I loved my chocolate rabbit
From the moment that he came,
And if I get another one,
I'll love him just the same"!

Author Unknown

Apparently this poem is popular with small kids and is sung in nursery schools at Easter time. For children Easter is all about fun, feasting and sharing great moments.....Hope Easter is the same for you.


Charlie and Joseph having their turn with the rabbit at Charlie's preschool when the petting farm animals came to visit - June 2008

Thoughts Have Wings

The greatest albatross with which we burden ourselves is fear. It blocks us. It stops us. It paralyses us. It sits so readily and well-practised on our shoulders, around our hearts and in our minds that we scarcely recognise its presence.

I'm not thinking about the fear of parachuting and the like. I'm thinking about being scared to take that extra step, the one which in hindsight would have made a difference.

Sometimes we need to step outside what others tell us to do - the conformity and security of the approved way - and follow our hearts. We are then prepared to be ridiculed and to fail. For some people, the alternative is to live mediocre lives and to be paralysed by indecision and inaction.

As a teenager I was shy. So shy I assumed others didn't know or remember me. I often avoided making eye contact or saying hello. From time to time I would cross the street to avoid speaking to people I knew. Fear of rejection had its albatross wings firmly wound around me.

Now I recognise that we teach best what we need to learn ourselves. I spend most of my life now encouraging others to communicate from the heart. The way to do it is to hold that heavy albatross in your hands and go forward anyway. Soon the albatross will struggle to be free, to find a quiet resting place where it can be comfortable on someone else's shoulders. No albatross likes movement it can't control.

In business, and in life, I tried new ideas. I did some of the things I've always wanted to. Who knew where it will lead? Until I decided to give those things a go, nothing was going to change.

I have learnt that I will never completely fail. If nothing else, I have learnt how to do things better.

As I began to stretch and push my fears further away, I grew in awareness, confidence and strength. It has been a wonderful adventure and a great journey and I know it will continue to be.

This quote from the German philosopher Goethe speaks volumes.

"Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness......
The moment one definitely commits oneself, then providence moves too.
All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred.
A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one's favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamed would have come his way.
Whatever you can do, or dream you can,
Begin it.
Boldness has genius, power and magic in it.
Begin it now."

— Johann Wolfgang von Goethe - 1749-1832


This photo was taken at the top of Kings Canyon, Northern Territory, Australia in June 2007. It took quite a lot of effort to reach the top and I was so pleased that I took up the challenge.



Kings Canyon is situated within the Watarrka National Park, Northern Territory, and is a huge canyon 270m high.



The line below is from The Killers song "Read My Mind". I loved this song from the first moment I heard it! The music is so tender and the lyrics just wonderful.

The stars are blazing like rebel diamonds cut out of the sun.

Connecting Together

In quite powerful ways, this blog is with me a good deal of the time. I think about it - and you (my blog friends) - when I am walking in the early mornings, when I am out and about listening to stories from friends or family, or in quiet times at home.

Lately I have observed that writing and reading are essential to how our lives interconnect. They are particularly part of the tentative, questing conversations that touch on or open up our deepest connections: the relationships, dreams, yearnings, desires, losses and sorrows that matter most.

That's why the quality of what we read matters. Reading can help us think about life more confidently. It lets us benefit from the experiences of people who are otherwise strangers.

It brings us together around issues that matter.

With that sense of conversation very much in mind, I observe, listen, watch, reflect - and then write. But if writing is the "talking" part of that dialogue, there is also "listening". Each of us will read and reflect in our own characteristic way.

As a avid reader myself, I know that reading lacks encounter, but it does give something else. At its best, it gives me the distilled rather than the superficial thoughts of the person who is writing.

Just as valuably, it gives me the chance to "listen" at my own pace, to question, reflect and add my own thoughts and inner commentary, engaging more actively not just with what someone else has said or written, but with what I myself now think, believe or want.

My 87 year old mother and my brother's dog Darcy, connecting on her birthday in March 2009

Reflecting On Our Words - March

We are now a quarter of the way through 2009 and today being the last day of March, it is "Reflecting on our Word" day.

With my friends Annemarie, Roban, AVT Coach and Julie we have committed to a joint post at the end of each month on a WORD each of us has chosen for 2009. This helps us stay focused and highlights our journey these words are taking us on.

For March we have each taken a photo that represents our WORD.

Roban - Moments in Time - FAITH & JOY



AVT Coach - ABUNDANCE



Annemarie - So I Was Just Thinking - DISCIPLINE



Julie - Octamom - EXCELLENCE



Peggy - Middle Age Ramblings - BALANCE



Once again you are all welcome to join in reflecting on your word for the year by commenting or posting on your blog and linking to this post. I'd love to hear how your WORD is guiding you through the year. To revisit our previous months, here is our January post and February post.

"While there is perhaps a province in which the photograph can tell us nothing more than what we see with our own eyes, there is another in which it proves to us how little our eyes permit us to see". ~Dorothea Lange

The Boss Has Spoken

I was reading an article about an interview with Bruce Springsteen and it really 'hit home' when he was asked the question "Do you still feel like a 12 year old"?

Here is his reply:

"Of course. There is no part of yourself that you leave behind; it can't be done. You can't remove any part of yourself, you can only manage the different parts of yourself.

There's a car, it's filled with people. The 12 years old kid's in the back. So's the 22 year old. So is the 40 year old. So is the 50 year old guy that's done pretty well, so's the 40 year old guy that likes to screw up. So's the 30 year old guy that wants to get his hands on his wheel and put the pedal to the metal, and drive you into a tree.

That's never going to change. Nobody's leaving. Nobody's getting thrown out by the roadside. The doors are shut, locked and sealed, until you go into your box.

But who's driving makes a really big difference about where the car is going. And if the wrong guy's at the wheel, it's crash time.

You want the latest model of yourself at the wheel, the part of you that's sussed some of this out and can drive you someplace where you want to go".

Bravo Bruce, very wise words.....The Boss has spoken!

Joseph and Charlie, March 2007 - One of my favourite photos of these gorgeous Aussie boys.

The Light Is Always There

There is a small plaque in a quiet and picturesque waterside park in Northwood, Sydney, commemorating the exceptional Australian artist, Lloyd Rees.

For much of his life Rees lived nearby and used the bays and inlets viewed from the park frequently as an inspiration for his landscapes. I often walk to this park as it is one of my favourite spots.

Lloyd was a true seeker of light. His paintings, especially in the last twenty years of his life when his eyesight was fading, were filled with light and washed colours. The memorial plaque at Northwood records one of his beliefs, "If you look for light you find it."

The quest for light has always been important to me. Mine is not a search for literal light - more, the search for direction, a message, a cleaning away of uncertainty and the recognition of inner spirit and authenticity.

Occasionally, life seems to be a chasm - a pit I slip and slide into. There is sometimes a sense of overwhelming darkness and no light ahead. What I have learned is that there is always light, I'm just not looking for it in the right place. I am probably searching for it straight ahead, the most obvious place to look when, if I would only glance to my right or left, I would glimpse its radiance.

That special light can come from any direction. A chance remark, a line in a magazine which starts me thinking, the sound of children playing, the words of a song, a comment overheard on the bus - all and any can give insight and a way through. When times are tough I have now learnt to keep my ears and heart open.

Whenever everyday problems overwhelm us, it is a relief when we see a solution, when we know what to do, when we understand the reason for something and the lessons contained within it.

The light is always there......we just need to look in a different direction.

Lloyd Rees painting Northwood Point, Sydney Harbour, 1978

I Have No Idea

Some people have a gift for coming up with ideas. But for those that don't it is a real struggle.

Oddly though, the people who struggle most are often the ones who become the most successful.

I also find having too many ideas is not always a good thing.

It's too easy to move on to the next one, and the next one.

If we don't have many ideas, we have to make those we do have work for us.

Today is St. Paddy's Day ....I love so many things about Ireland and the Irish people...their accents, makes me go weak at the knees!! And it's an amazing place!!

If you don't know the way, walk slowly. - Irish Proverb

Beannacht Lá Fhéile Pádraig

My brother's dog, Darcy, March 2009....a good Irish name.

Art of Compromise

As BALANCE is my WORD for the year, here are a few more thoughts on the subject.

According to Aristotle, moral behaviour requires finding the right balance between the extremes of doing or feeling too much or too little. Courage, for instance, is a balance between cowardice (too much fear) and foolhardiness (too little fear). The superior man cultivates a friendly atmosphere, without being weak. He stands erect in the middle, without inclining to either side.

In practice, this means that when we find ourselves in an argument with someone, we should try to look at the problem from their point of view as well as our own. It doesn’t mean that we should weakly submit to their argument, but neither does it mean that we should try to force our argument upon them.

Unfortunately in today’s society, taking a stand or going to extremes is often glorified, while “sitting on the fence” or making compromises often have negative connotations attached to them, as if they somehow imply a weakness in character.

From our leaders we hear statements such as “you’re either with us or against us”. The problem with this sort of extreme statement is that rather than bringing people closer together, it pushes them further apart. I wonder how many of the conflicts in the world today could have been averted if our leaders better understood the art of compromise.


In December 2006 while visiting Kenya, Jessen and I crossed the equator. We went back and forth several times just for the fun of it and then balanced in the middle.

Joseph in the Park

Joseph is 2 1/2 years old, we spend each Monday together and this is a typical scene shot with my digital camera (quality not perfect) of our time spent in the park..

He is no relation. I used to look after his mother when she was 7 years old and now I have the privilege of spending a day each week watching Joseph blossom.

Date: March 2009

Note: A little way into the video I ask Joseph what else do we like and he says "Swing Low" which is a song I have been singing to him since he was a baby.."Swing Low Sweet Chariot"....bless his little heart to remember that.

Carpe Diem - Seize the Day

The scene is in my mind still. Actor Robin Williams, playing the role of teacher John Keating, in the movie "Dead Poets' Society", is discussing in hushed tones the Latin phrase Carpe Diem, with his bemused pupils during an early encounter.

"Seize the day, gentlemen. Seize the day". Those words sent a shiver down my spine. They filled my mind. To this day they carry a powerful message for me. The Robin Williams character encouraged his students to open their hearts and minds to their dreams and follow through with actions.

Sometimes, as the movie showed, dreams may not be understood by others. Yet those experiences we have when we reach up and out, to extend ourselves, are the experiences and emotions we remember with great affection for the rest of our lives. They are the technicolour passages of our lives.

Many people live black, white and grey lives. Just notice the colour of the clothing they wear most days. A passing brushstroke of colour may influence them only occasionally. Those who are bold enough to seize the day are seizing life and its challenges. They dare to dream. They dare to be different.

There are always exceptional teachers for us, and not just at school. I'm sure you have heard that perceptive quote, "When the pupil is ready the teacher will come". When you sincerely wish to discover why, how, when and where, the teacher quietly arrives. Be ready. The teacher can just as quietly leave if the pupil is not tuned in.

Most of us never ever understand just how we change people's lives with a comment or remark. When we say what they think, show what we feel, make a fool of ourselves if necessary, we encourage ourselves and our friends to push against the bars of the cage of safety to enlarge its dimensions. I know it is better to lose on my feet than to play on my knees.

I am learning through philosophy, blogging and my friends to enjoy the experiences, the scenery, the weather, the food, the "everything". I want to stretch myself and live with passion.....in other words I want to "seize the day".


This is my scrapblog friend Cynthia and myself in England in July 2008. We became friends through scrapblog and when the opportunity arose to meet each other in person we "seized the day".

Bird By Bird - When Words Fly...

BIRD BY BIRD is a beautiful, soulful laugh-out-loud book: the sort that you find yourself reading out to friends. Ostensibly, it's about how to write. It's also about motherhood, finding God and dying gracefully; about why we read books and the need to express life's inexpressibly beautiful moments - the ones that change and deepen us.

Written by the American author Anne Lamott - political activist and former Salon.com columnist - was originally published in the United States in 1994 and now released in Australia in 2008.

The daughter of writer Kenneth Lamott, she recalls when she was a child, his friends - all writers - would come over for drinks and then "pass out over the dinner table". Her father's writerly advice was: "Do it as a debt of honour". And make a commitment to finishing things".

Why we write is not so important, neither is being published, Lamott likes to remind us. What is more pertinent is becoming conscious to use writing as a tool, "to live as if we are dying".

By drawing on her own experiences, she illuminates the trials of being a writer and there are many.

There is no secret to her success, although Lamott's own routines are instructive: She sits down around the same time every day - to train the unconscious to kick in creatively - and then tries to quieten her mind to "hear what that character has to say above the other voices (which) are banshees and drunken monkeys". Writing is also about listening - to an inner voice - and she likes to imagine this voice as a "long-necked, good-natured "Dr Seuss" who invents characters.

Chapters are dedicated to all aspects of writing - character, plot, dialogue, set design - and how to move beyond "really shitty first drafts". She hoards ideas and whispers on index cards, stuffed into her back pocket. Occasionally she'll pull out gems such as one about her young son, Sam, looking up at a cold starry night and saying "It smells like moon".

For all her compassionate intentions, Lamott is often at her most hilarious when she's being bitchy about other writers, especially when the green-eyed monster grips her. If she's brutal about some of her friends, she's also brutal about using everything in life as material - just changing it enough so the person won't notice.

At times the book feels like a passionate manifesto. "Tell the truth," she urges. "If you're a writer, you have a moral obligation to do this. And it is a revolutionary act - truth is always subversive".

Her words could put off aspiring writers or those foolish enough to think that it ever gets any easier. For the committed, she will INSPIRE!


Kakadu, Northern Territory, May 2007 - Australian Heron ready to fly

A Gift - Old Age

Every so often, I happen upon an e-mail that truly touches the heart. As I was beginning my workday this morning, I received the following excerpt by an anonymous author and feel that it is worthy to be shared and cherished.

May those who read this be blessed and filled with gratitude for “this we call life". And for those who've already seen this, may this be a reminder of the marvelous miracle of being you.

"The other day a young person asked me how I felt about being old. I was taken aback, for I do not think of myself as old. Upon seeing my reaction, she was immediately embarrassed, but I explained that it was an interesting question, and I would ponder it, and let her know.

Old Age, I decided, is a gift.

I am now, probably for the first time in my life, the person I have always wanted to be. Oh, not my body! I sometime despair over my body, the wrinkles, the baggy eyes, and the sagging butt. And often I am taken aback by that old person that lives in my mirror (who looks like my mother!), but I don't agonize over those things for long.

I would never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life, and my loving family for less gray hair or a flatter belly. As I've aged, I've become kinder to myself, and less critical of myself. I've become my own friend. I don't chide myself for eating that extra cookie, or for not making my bed, or for buying that silly cement gecko that I didn't need, but looks so avante garde on my patio. I am entitled to a treat, to be messy, to be extravagant.

I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon; before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging.

Whose business is it if I choose to read or play on the computer until 4:00 AM and sleep until noon?

I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 60 and 70s, and if I, at the same time, wish to weep over a lost love ... I will.

I will walk the beach in a swim suit that is stretched over a bulging body, and will dive into the waves with abandon if I choose to, despite the pitying glances from the jet set.

They, too, will get old.

I know I am sometimes forgetful. But there again, some of life is just as well forgotten and I eventually remember the important things.

Sure, over the years my heart has been broken. How can your heart not break when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or even when somebody's beloved pet gets hit by a car? But broken hearts are what give us strength and understanding and compassion. A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of being imperfect.

I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turning gray, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face. So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn silver.

As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think. I don't question myself anymore. I've even earned the right to be wrong.

So, to answer your question, I like being old. It has set me free. I like the person I have become. I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be. And I shall eat dessert every single day (if I feel like it)."


I believe people are like fine wines, they get better with age!


My good mate Mark & I in January 2006 at a hat party in Kings Cross, Sydney.