It is the downfall of many of us — co-workers, children, spouses, other drivers, irritating people on the train — they can grate, they can anger.
And it can ruin your day. You clench your jaw, you replay imaginary arguments in your head, or worse, you snap. And then you feel like crap.
How can we find the patience?
I will admit that I’m no saint. Just like everyone else, I get annoyed, and I will say things in a less-than-kind tone........I’m learning!
Here’s what helps me:
First, I learn to be aware of the emotions that rush up from nowhere.
I learn to accept those emotions as perfectly fine.
And I watch them, but don’t act.
I will talk to those emotions, like they’re a little child:
it’s OK to be mad, but breathe.
I remind my childlike emotions:
other people are different, and that’s good.
When people live and work together, there will be friction, and that is a part of the mix of humanity.
I remind myself:
life is too short to waste my days in irritation and anger. Don’t let other people’s problems become my own.
I then give thanks.
Gratitude solves all problems.
I am grateful for having this friend, or stranger, in my life, and I’m grateful for the chance to even be here, and for the incredible life I have.
Patience isn’t an easy thing, but the alternative is much worse.
Love will triumph if we let it.
"Patience is the ability to idle your motor when you feel like stripping your gears."
~~ Barbara Johnson
Ellie, one of my cats, is teaching me patience and I love her dearly for it. Photo taken March 2008.
17 comments:
:-) I am the one who has the imaginary conversations in my head...what I could have said.
Hi Peggy :)
I've found that keeping my blood sugar at a decent level (i.e. eat) helps me.
So funny - the other day I was at the store and had two screaming toddlers (I was babysitting) and one of them stuck in a very unusual position under the shopping cart. This was at the very very end of the trip, which had been too long for how much I had eaten that morning. Not a pretty sight ;) Although I'm sure some people laughed...
heh
Thanks for the reminder. I have been getting irritable lately because of all the tasks being assigned to me by my wife who can think them up faster than I can do them. But remembering I can do one thing at a time and trying to be in the moment with each -- Zen of Motorcycle Maintenance -- makes it easier. And breathing.
But, I want patience NOW!!!!!
Oh how I struggle with patience every day. As a Mom I'm always finding myself coming to the brink! But the kids usually end up putting a smile on my face.
? How did you get that amazing photo up top, without getting YOUR shadow?!?!? I love this photo!
Have a great week my friend.
HUGS,
Carrie
I can practice patience and tolerance in almost all circumstances -- but when it comes to the traffic and drivers around here, my blood tends to boil. I snap, I want to grab someone through their window and smack 'em silly! Ha! Seriously, it is that bad and I have never felt like that before. Do you know how many folks run red lights every single morning while I am with my kids on the way to school? How many people run up on the side of the road to get around traffic so they can cut in because somehow they think they are more important than the other 50 cars waiting in line? Can you tell this is one of my pet peeves? I hope all is well with you Peg! Best wishes, Tammy
Great advice for us here on Patience Peggy..it is hard to understand some people.
Ellie's gorgeous...those eyes!
I LOVE reading your stories my friends! Thank you so much for sharing them.
Carrie I took the header photo when I was on a camel in Broome, Western Australia. I think I am on the 3rd from the left. You can see my LITTLE shadow!
Hmmm patience - tricky in't it? Always catches you unawares. Thanks for your tips - they make sense. I wonder how the Dalai Lama copes with it? I know he is so impatient to meet me but he will have to wait for now.
I think our modern society is making us forget how to be patient. We can have everything now. I suppose it helps to be 'in the moment' as then you are not looking forward or back.
I am not sure if it's an age thing, or what but I lose my patience at the littlest things: the hose kinking, hangers that get "hung" up, bad smells, drivers... I could go on! I have to verbally remind myself to be an optimist, something I always prided myself on.
Great post - and I bet you have more patience than you know - I only see sunshine from you!!!!
Stoneweaver - I agree many people want quick fixes in today's world of instant gratification.
I can understand the obsession with instant gratification. If we can do something faster, why not do it? In theory, the idea has merit, but in reality it simply isn't true. Technology can be automated, but the human body cannot. Positive change requires time.
You put a BIG GRIN on my face with the Dalai Lama remark. :D)
Lisa - I too have to verbally remind myself EVERY DAY to be grateful for my blessed life. You would think after I wrote this post "patience" would hang around for a few days...NO! This morning I was stuck behind a learner driver doing 20 km (12 mph) when I was running late for an appointment and it was impossible to overtake him! I did chuckle to myself afterwards!!!
I enjoy writing positive posts and spreading sunshine into the Universe, it helps keep the sunshine inside of me.
this is my greatest weakness & challenge too Pegs. I find trials the greatest cultivation of patience...and the best thing is you develop character at the same time ;)
I feel like I'm a full bodied uniquely flavoured very gourmet coffee by now! LOL
Don't let other people's problems become my own - wise words indeed, Peggy!
Macs - I love your analogy mate! I am finding my patience has its limits but like you said I am also developing character at the same time.
Mike - Yes taking ownership of other people's problems can certainly weigh us down. Also people who dump their problems on us usually feel better afterwards while we carry the burden around for them!
There certainly is a difference between listening to someone’s problems and taking OWNERSHIP of them!
controlling yourself not to go over the edge - so tough at times.
I do like your point about thinking (thinking is really hard to do at times of temporary insanity) about just being grateful for being here. good thoughts and advice thanks
Lisleman - We all want to feel in control but being human means we have so many anomalies to deal with including, as you say temporary insanity. I want to remember to breathe next time I get mad and maybe, just maybe I won't blurt out something I will regret later.
Thanks for adding to the conversation. :-)
Goodness! I know the feeling. I have to work on this a LOT. I have been having a lot of "people" frustrations lately. Many people are chaotic and unfriendly. Even people I used to know as friendly are showing their negative side. The planet is not an easy place to live right now...I try to remember that. I am not great at dealing with it though. I even deleted a few people this week who posted stuff I just found really unacceptable (vulgar, nudity...racism stuff). I suppose this is why I am depending more on my more positive friends these days....like you.
Ninon - I try and surround myself with positive, inspiring people, it makes such a difference to my wellbeing!
I feel our peer group is OUR choice. People that suck energy will diminish our potential, so I choose not to be around them for any length of time.
Take care friend! xxxxxx
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