Saturday, 18 July 2015

Flourish or Struggle

Like plants, to some degree, all of us struggle or flourish according to where we are positioned. Our lives can be hard or easy depending on where the pot is placed. 
Most of us, I think, have had this experience: behaving quite differently according to the people in the room at the time. With some people we feel in perpetual shadow; with others, the sunlight seems to angle in and we are aglow.

With one friend you feel as if you are quite intelligent, discussing erudite issues of politics or literature. You are witty, insightful; the right phrase springs into your mouth at the right time. The very next night, in the company of someone else, you feel dumb and boring. Anxiety or insecurity grips so strongly that the right word, the witty phrase, can never fight its way through to the surface.

I've been thinking about the subtleties of positioning - how the sunlight can hit us when we are standing on this spot, but not in this other spot.

Why, then, don't we strive harder to move into the sun? 

Why don't we spend more time with those who bring out our best selves, and less with those who bring a nuclear winter? Perhaps we could all send out the mental note: ''Paul Whatchamacallit, I know I'm booked in for a barbecue with you on Saturday week but suddenly I find that I am busy. I'm off to spend time with people who think I'm fabulous. And guess what? When I'm with them, I mostly prove them right.''

The best compliment you can pay someone is to say, ''I like the person I am when I'm with you''.
"Yeah we all shine on, like the moon, and the stars, and the sun."
~~ John Lennon - Instant Karma

My friend Rose grows these beautiful orchids and has them in the perfect position for them to flourish.

These lovely women are a joy to spend time with and I feel so blessed to call each of them my friend.


Christine said...

I like the analogy of the plants, maybe even wild animals too. How much of that is in our control I wonder. You are right at least we can choose our friends.

miruspeg said...

Hi Christine
Thanks for your interesting comment.
Elizsabeth Kubler-Ross was quoted as saying "I believe that we are solely responsible for our choices, and we have to accept the consequences of every deed, word, and thought throughout our lifetime."
I concur with her thinking.
Be well my friend. xxxx

bill lisleman said...

Why corny phrases pop up in my head? "You can pick your friends but you can't pick your friend's nose." Other than a laugh I don't why this was ever said. We are all unique. Also there are moods that affect our interactions. I've found out that conversations/remarks I've made had been received negatively and I had never meant them to be negative. I do think people that are too polite appear fake.

On the subject of putting your foot in your mouth (that expression is used globally right?) - I found this funny (I think) clip of a guy with a one minute time machine. He uses it to undo his verbal slip ups.
Here's the youtube link (oh there is some explicit language)

miruspeg said...

Hey Bill
I like your corny phrases mate. And yes the expression "putting your foot in your mouth" is used globally, and I for one do it all the time!
Oh I loved the youtube clip you posted, it was 5 minutes well spent.
Keep shining xxx

Mike Smith said...

You've hit the nail on the head again, Peggy. Some people wait all week for Friday, all year for summer - and all their life for happiness. Be well, my friend.

miruspeg said...

Hi Mike
I love it when I hit the nail on the head because I often hit my fingers.
I really like your quote "Some people wait all week for Friday, all year for summer - and all their life for happiness." is so so true.
You are living proof of finding and pursuing a different life for yourself, that took a lot of courage.
Keep shining mate. xxx

McMGrad89 said...

I think sometimes we feel stuck much like a plant rooted to the ground. The plant can only turn so much to reach the sun, but if it is completely out of the sun, it can't pack up and move. I reflect back to my marriage days when I felt rooted to my situation for many reasons. I'm not sure of the actual moment when I realized it didn't have to be the way it was, but I'm sure glad I figured it out. I think surrounding myself with supportive friends was helpful.

miruspeg said...

Hi Annemarie
Thanks for sharing your insights. As you know it took my a long time to see the light and uproot myself from my marriage, but yours was a very difficult situation with two kids in tow.
I'll always be proud to call you my friend.
Warmest hugs
Peggy xxx

Good and plenty said...

Peggy, I loved the garden metaphors as I've done a wee small bit of gardening recently and have noticed positioning myself. I've marveled at home two of the same plants from the same mother plant flourish differently. I've noticed how some plants despite nurturance and being repositioned don't ever flourish. I've noticed how they respond to temperature, water, festilizaer, etc. I've noticed the importance of pruning.
Thanks so much for this post. As I continue to grow, I am able to reduce the time I have to be around people who make me feel less than myself or who are just unpleasant or draining to be around...even when we have a long history together. All the best to you.

miruspeg said...

Hello Candelaria (Good and Plenty)
As always you have added food for thought to this subject.
I am finding as I age I am much more emotionally balanced and want to be around people that help me shine.
It is very sad saying goodbye to someone after a long friendship but we must always be true to ourselves.
Keep shining, keep growing.
Peggy xxxxx