Like plants, to some degree, all of us struggle or flourish according to where we are positioned. Our lives can be hard or easy depending on where the pot is placed.
Most of us, I think, have had this experience: behaving quite differently according to the people in the room at the time. With some people we feel in perpetual shadow; with others, the sunlight seems to angle in and we are aglow.With one friend you feel as if you are quite intelligent, discussing erudite issues of politics or literature. You are witty, insightful; the right phrase springs into your mouth at the right time. The very next night, in the company of someone else, you feel dumb and boring. Anxiety or insecurity grips so strongly that the right word, the witty phrase, can never fight its way through to the surface.
I've been thinking about the subtleties of positioning - how the sunlight can hit us when we are standing on this spot, but not in this other spot.
Why, then, don't we strive harder to move into the sun?
Why don't we spend more time with those who bring out our best selves, and less with those who bring a nuclear winter? Perhaps we could all send out the mental note: ''Paul Whatchamacallit, I know I'm booked in for a barbecue with you on Saturday week but suddenly I find that I am busy. I'm off to spend time with people who think I'm fabulous. And guess what? When I'm with them, I mostly prove them right.''
The best compliment you can pay someone is to say, ''I like the person I am when I'm with you''.
"Yeah we all shine on, like the moon, and the stars, and the sun."
~~ John Lennon - Instant Karma
 |
| My friend Rose grows these beautiful orchids and has them in the perfect position for them to flourish. |
 |
| These lovely women are a joy to spend time with and I feel so blessed to call each of them my friend. |
 |
| These life long friends always let me shine and bring out the best in me. |
24 comments:
very uplifting positive post today Peggy, thanks for that!
Thanks Christine for being such a loyal blogging friend and always stopping by and leaving a comment.
Big hugs to you sweet friend.
Peggy, I've never thought of it like this, but you are so right with your analogy. I split from a particular friend and the group that was a part of that friendship several years ago. While I miss the group's comraderie and laughter, I don't miss the way I sometimes felt when I was with them.
Once again, your songs are perfect companions for your post. :-)
Hugs,
Roban I am finding as I age I am much more emotionally balanced and want to be around people that help me shine.
It is very sad saying goodbye to someone after a long friendship but we must always be true to ourselves. Good for you for having the courage to end a non-satisfying relationship.
Always lovely to hear you enjoy my music. ♥♥♥♥
Hello there
Have come to visit via christine's blog - and must say I really enjoyed this post.
There have been times when I've wondered why I've continued to 'see' certain people and made the decision not to be in theri company so oftern Then I've discovered its surprising how differently you see the world when you don't have their point of view in your face all the time
It's late now but I will be back to look at other posts another day
Take care
Cathy
You are so right about positioning. I've recently thought a lot about it because I am a volunteer reading coach once a week and I think of the positioning of family and schools and teachers and the attendant high or low expectations. Some people grow toward the light. I do avoid the negatives in the places I control but it is hard to do that in work situations although with repeat shaders I've learned to cut my encounters short.
I've also been thinking about why I take the bait or allow myself to feel less than around some peolpe - especaillyt he financially wealthy and well-travelled people I know. Sometimes it truly is my issue and not theirs. I am learning to listen and learn despite those feelings.
Thanks, as always, for your post.
You are so right, Peg....Life is too short to spend it with those who make you feel like you wish you were doing something else.
Sometimes, though, this is what a huge Holiday family event can be like for me. Only way to solve that dilemma is divorce....haha!
In all seriousness, though, I love that your posts always have a positive message....and really make me think about the world around me...and within me :)
Hugs to you!
Cameron
Peggy, you would chuckle if you knew how long it took me to read the whole post. Not your fault - I'm just that.. ... well I don't even know what. short attention span and everything. And I was going to comment right away the first time. But then I decided not to.
Anyway. Gorgeous orchids. Lovely people. I like the bit about the best compliment. It is true.
And hi - how are you doing?
Love to you.
♥♥
- Jen
Hi Cathy
Thanks heaps for stopping by and leaving a comment.
It is always great to hear from a fellow Aussie.
I'll pop over to your blog at the weekend.
Hello Candelaria
As always you have added food for thought to this subject.
I feel fortunate that I don't feel inferior to just about any type of person, but it's the negative people that push my buttons so I don't have much time for them.
You must get heaps of satisfaction being a volunteer reading coach. ♥♥
Hey Cameron
How delightful to hear from you and thank you for always leaving such thoughtful comments...bless you!
I am very happy my blog posts give you positive messages - that is definitely my aim!
Hugs back to you my friend. ♥♥♥
Hey Jen
I have missed reading your comments.
I love your honesty....you are a very special soul.
I am doing just fine thanks - work is really really busy and stimulating.
Also we are having lovely Spring weather which allows me to play outdoors.
Much love to you too. ♥♥♥
Hi! I tried to leave a comment on the blog. It kept saying I was entering those letters wrong. Either it posted 10 comments or nothing
Here it is:
Wow! Reading my mind again...or I was reading yours while you wrote this. Funny! While out walking I run into various people. I met a lady the other day and felt so comfortable and we had a great chat. Others days I meet people and I feel so stupid afterwards that it takes me a couple of days to adjust and wonder what is wrong with myself! More and more I am working to only focus on those things and invest in people who really add something to my life!
You are right on.
Ninon
Hi Ninon
I posted your comment here for you and have turned off the comment moderation feature and will leave it that way if I don't get overrun by spam.
It's not the first time we have been on the same wavelength and I am sure it won't be the last!
Hope you are enjoying your new camera and capturing some great wild life shots.
Hugs ♥♥♥
That is so true Peggy. And so profound. You write so beautifully always.
There is nothing better then feeling like you fit in and that you have something to offer the world, and others. How freeing it is to feel like you are being yourself with no pretence. Why is it we are so slow to do it I wonder? Age and maturity help I think. My daughter made a decision to do this very thing recently. She just cut herself off as politely as she could from anyone that made her feel less than ok about herself for whatever reason. She is much happier. Time is precious, life is short so thank you. It is a great reminder for all of us. Sure work colleagues are a little different but perhaps we can avoid them more than we think we can.
I am sure you have wonderful friends - you are a wonderful friend yourself. Hope you are having a great week. And thanks for the great food for thought and the fine, fine music.
Thanks Lilly for your kind and supportive words.
Age and maturity have certainly helped me feel good about myself.
My self-image when I was younger was derived largely from the reaction of my peers. Now, I am more able to define myself. I am also more confident because my peers have respect for my abilities in various areas.
Your daughter sounds like she is wise beyond her years.
''I like the person I am when I'm with you''.
I love that. Love it!! I will have to begin to use it. I can think of many, many people in my life that is true of.
I love these words too Relyn. The words express our feelings succinctly!
Hope all is well in your world dear friend. ♥♥
Hi Peggy,
ughh that insecurity and anxiety...I like to put it in the compost bin and recycle it to think differently.
Its very interesting to think of us as being like plants, needing the right habitat to thrive and grow. I can see that is particularly true for children.
But I try to think of myself as exactly who I am, just me. Not to be swayed into feelings I dont want to feel by people who are always negative or on another page, be that "I'm superior" or "I'm super intelligent".
I am responsible for myself and how I feel. If someone speaks in a way that encourages me to belittle myself, I find myself thinking that that person must be very insecure to want to put everyone down around them.
Maybe I'm more of a tree than a pot plant, a gum tree that can survive and regenerate even after a fire.
Love your analogy with nature. Great thought provoking post again
Hello CF!
You have added interesting fuel to this post by comparing insecurity and anxiety with compost bin and recycling.....love the analogy.
Isn't it wonderful as we age some of us are lucky to become more comfortable with the person we have become. Every time we subtract negative from our life, we make room for more positive.
You are definitely a gum tree (tall and strong) and if the need arises would regenerate after a fire. I'd like to think of myself as a jacaranda tree or crepe myrtle when they are in full bloom.
It has been (too) long since I visited your blog (appologies, appologies...!!) I love your words and it makes me think of the time I left the father of my son... a friend said to me: you are a certain kind of tree that has to grow and become tall and strong, but he sheared you all the time and for a tree like you are, that's not good" (I'm sorry if these words sound clumbsy - I can't find the exact right words but it sounded very poetic and TRUE...)
Great post. Spot on observations
I got a great deal of sunshine from you yesterday in Christchurch
and come here to wish you a very happy birthday and may you start a new exciting year in your life
Hello Marit!
How lovely to see your comment.
I have been holidaying in Christchurch, New Zealand for a week, hence my delay in replying to your comment.
Your words certainly do NOT sound clumsy! I love the analogy your friend related, comparing you to a certain kind of tree. It fits perfectly with this post.
How insightful he/she was.
Thanks again for taking the time to visit. xxxx
Hi Marja
I ALWAYS enjoy the time we spend together. We are both on a similar path and I feel we inspire each other in so many ways especially where children are concerned.
Thank you for the birthday wishes.....I am still celebrating!
Big heart hugs xxxx
Post a Comment