Thursday, 11 December 2008

Blip or Blimp

I have reached a critical point with my weight-loss program which, you'll note, I'm not calling a diet. Nasty word "diet", with negative connotations of cranky regimens, meal-replacement drinks and unbearable privation.

The plan I'm on is much more sensible, but there are still major hurdles in any flab-reducing endeavour and they are, I'm realising, entirely psychological. It's not about the stupid diet or whatever you want to call it - it's about your head.

The wall I hit was this: last week I put 1 kg (2 lbs) back on. After six weeks of steady losing this was a big disappointment, especially as it was brought on by my own hand. The hand and its adjoining arm, which repeatedly lifted glasses of sparkling wine to my lips at a Christmas lunch party I helped organise.

I was fine with the food. We had carefully planned the menu so it looked like lavish tucker, but there was actually plenty for me to eat without busting my resolve. Even one of the strawberry meringue puddings with a little whipped cream was fine as part of my program, but the numerous random swigs of sparkling plonk were not.

The problem was that I kept pouring myself a glass and then losing it as new guests arrived, or I had to rush off to wash up some cutlery, or cut more bread. Then I'd grab another one and have a few gulps of that before being distracted again. This meant it was absolutely impossible to keep track of how many glasses of wine I was getting down me.

There was also the issue that I don't usually help organise large lunch parties (actually, this was the first....)and I wanted to kick back and enjoy it without counting alcohol units too assiduously. I don't drink much these days either, so felt I had a little coming to me in that regard. But I sure paid the price when I got on the scales a week later.

And what reaction could there possibly be to such a crushing blow? Toast and peanut butter, of course, and after four slices of my favourite treat I felt as if it was all over. It was no surprise, then, that several cold pancakes left over from a friend's stay over then found their way into my mouth lavishly anointed with sugar and lemon juice, mmmmmmmm.....Hot chocolate, anyone? I'm making it.

Then I felt as any full-on addict must when they've fallen off the wagon: like a despicable rotten failure who needed both to seek comfort from another hit of their particular vice and simultaneously to punish themselves by giving in to having it, with full knowledge of the enduring consequences.

That's the whole complex cycle of addiction, I realised, slurping down the hot choc, when the very thing that harms you is also the thing that comforts you when you are angry with yourself for giving in to it. Not that I'm suggesting I'm an addict - big respect for people really battling with those issues - but it did give me some insight into that vicious psychological spin cycle and why it is so very hard to beat.

And using that understanding, I was able to pull myself up, I went and admired my beloved jeans which I'm so happy to be wearing again - and not as an endurance event. I don't want them filed back in the maybe-one-day section of the jeans pile: in fact, I want them to be too big!

So I have resumed my weight-loss program as though I never had this blip. I might not lose anything this week either, but I'm not giving up.

Better a blip than a blimp!

Sculpture by the Sea - November 2008 - What sparkling wine can lead to!


McMGrad89 said...

Too funny! I DID have to get out my Ausie to American dictionary a few times. :-) --Tucker and Plonk.

Sorry you had a setback. I am just beginning my turn around. We gotta be ready for our summer trek!

Caroline said...

Oh boy...I am on the same boat with you! I have put on 12 pounds since my last baby was born (6 years ago!). But it's the 6 lbs in this past year that is getting me! Granted, 12 lbs to lose is not too much...but it's the hardest! My metabolism has pretty much stopped working for me! I don't even eat that's just that everything I eat makes me gain weight now. So the big time workouts have begun. But it's finding the balance in this that is hard. I still want to enjoy my food without freaking out about calories. UGH! It's hard! said...

I like your blog.

JenX67 said...

That was one of those posts that I enjoy because it's about an everyday kind of thing - like a true diary entry. Then, I get to the caption on the Sculpture in the Sea and I just completely crack up laughing. Very punch humor there. Must be the wine! Ha!

Fly Girl said...

I share your pain... and your gain! I will go for days and weeks without chocolate, but then when I do plop a tasty morsel into my mouth... I want another, and another... (you get the picture).

At least you've been losing weight! I've gained 40 pounds over the past four or five years. After having been a runner for a few years - even training for a marathon - I got injured and little by little quit exercising.

I'm still hoping to lose weight. Soon, very soon, I'm going to do something about it!

Oh, and I loved the sculpture by the sea. That's how I look!

Anonymous said...

Very amusing and the track from 'Oliver' and the picture of the sculpture all fitted the topic perfectly (as I HOPE your clothes still do!!)'s the worst time of the year for dieting....give yourself a break and enjoy the festive season.In any case, you do lots of walking, don't you? That must balance out the calorie intake!CJ

Stefunkc said...

I love the sculpture! Makes me worry about those peanut m & m's I just ingested! I've been running for 16 weeks and have gained 4 pounds. Figure that one out!