Thursday, 7 May 2009
Doormat to Persian Rug
"I decided to move from being a doormat to being a Persian rug" - Babette Bensoussan
The state of being a doormat is not one we wish upon ourselves. Far from it. It's the last thing anyone wants. It's a cunning subtle process that creeps up on you, until one day you realise you have achieved doormat status with one person in particular. You have given away your power!
I've lived this one. It took time and distance to realise that there are better ways of living my life than succumbing to victim mentality and submissiveness. I found it was important to rescue the situation so I could be in control of my life. That's when I decided I wouldn't be a doormat again.
When we are single or have left a work situation in which we were submissive, it seems so easy. "That's never going to happen to me again". I found it never just "happens" to us anyway. We allow it to happen. No one in the world wants to be the type of person who lets others wipe their feet all over us so that we become worn and tatty. How much sweeter to be admired and acknowledged because of our ability to respectfully and courteously speak our truth.
I have discovered that when new relationships begins that I need to be careful I don't set up the same circumstances once more. It's time to examine my motives, actions and expectations. It's time to speak honestly about my values and desires and consistently live them.
Reading Babette Bensoussan's quote, I realised that moving to the status of Persian rug in a relationship was the only way to be happy. So like a bolt of lightening, the obvious struck me. I needed to buy a Persian rug to have a constant presence of commitment to myself!
One Saturday morning I went along to a neighbourhood store and purchased one with a traditional pattern that sang loudly to my soul. Now, as I work in my home office, the wonderful rug is beneath my feet.
The very first night I had the rug in place, I poured myself a glass of wine, lit two candles and sat cross-legged on it. Its effect as a flying carpet couldn't be overlooked. It is now a constant reminder of my Persian rug status and a powerful prod to remind me to never be a doormat again.
It also represents heartfelt desires and colourful adventures in faraway lands.
So come fly with me on your magic carpet, up up and away......